Shoot for the Moon
by Hari-Aisu
Summary: As if it isn't enough that L seems to be the most unapproachable human being on Earth, to also add three psychotic successors trying to remake him completely? Now that is just cruel. Yet when there are no options left... L will take what he can get.
1. Prologue: To the Moon

A.N: And a drumroll, _please_. Lol. I'm gonna hear it. I know I am. But... is it really so bad to say that I don't care if I do? I should probably keep that to myself, huh? -.-; Anyways... let's do a mini-summary for those who may be a bit curious about what the hell I'm writing _today_!

Romance! Humor! Stalker!L! Crazy!Whammy Kids! Oblivious!Raito! And...

Les Brown Quotes? Wtf? XD It can work, damn it! Consider this a short little series of nothing, if you will. You'll see! Not that long at all. ^.^ How you guys react to this, I don't know. Don't even ask me to describe it, because I have no idea. Though I hope you still find it amusing to read, of course...

Many thanks to Kitsune55 for beta-ing for me, by the way! Awesome. Lol.

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." _

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: **_Shoot for the Moon_**

_Prologue:** To the Moon**_

* * *

_Unattainable_ is a good word for you, you know.

_**Un-attain-able.**_

_Definition: Impossible to achieve or attain._

Yes.

Most _definitely _unattainable.

Drinking my now cold coffee, I begin to absently wonder if you'll notice if I'm here _today_.

Not that it's likely, but it's still a thought that swirls around my head from time to time. After all, sitting here isn't just a hobby for me anymore.

I think a better word would be _obsession_,at this point.

_**Ob-se-ssion.**_

_Definition: A persistent disturb__ing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling._

Well, my inner-dictionary is certainly getting a work out today, if nothing else.

You seem so content in your own world, sipping your own cup of coffee with such satisfaction as you read your book… what kind it is, I don't yet know.

_Yet_, being the operative word, of course.

It may be strange to other people, what I'm doing, but to a person such as myself, the peculiar is often the most normal type of behavior, along with the most… _predictable_.

I could have researched all there was to know about you, but that wouldn't have sated my appetite.

Besides…

Watari wouldn't let me.

Something about the unnecessary intrusion of your privacy, and the utter lack of tact on my part when it came to others…

I wasn't really paying attention, truth be told. He had just given me the most _delicious _slice of strawberry shortcake, and trying to keep my attention whilst giving me _cake_ is like trying to talk to a two-year-old who'd just learned how to do somersaults.

It's just not done.

But that's beside the point.

Or what little left there is of the point to talk about, anyway.

You see, sitting here for so long, watching you go through the same routine day in and day out has taught me more about you than any records possibly could, anyway.

You're a young man both bored and yet, strangely comfortable with his life. You always drink your coffee here at the same exact time, and you never come back to this café with the same book twice.

You love to impress people with answers to whatever questions they may have about you or in general, but you grow bored with their conversation quickly.

You also love to hear yourself speak, but when the person listening to you does little but nod their head, you dismiss them as genially, if patronizingly, as possible and go back to reading whatever book you may have in your hand.

Everything about you could be construed as near perfection, but your flaws are actually as brightly lit as your perfections, if one would only take the time and _observe_ as I have.

Yet still, with every imperfection I come to find, I seem to only find you all the more _fascinating_.

It's been so long since I've felt this alive…

I should thank you for gifting me with such a _feeling_. It's not very often I get the chance to feel so _human _myself_, _after all.

Maybe…

Maybe tomorrow will be the day that I will be able to gather my own courage and finally re-establish what we could have had just six months prior…

But isn't that what I always say?

One more step, L. Just one more step…

All you have to do is take that _one_ _more_ _**step**_.

* * *

"_Ryuuzaki_?"

L blinked as he was pushed out of his thoughts by a persistent loud voice screeching within his poor innocent ears. A pair of brightly lit blue eyes and head of cornflower blonde hair rushed into his proverbial vision as a light snickering was heard right behind the blurry face with slightly crazed grin.

"Give him some space to _breathe_, dude…"

Black and white stripes and orange-tinted lenses were all L saw as the preteen standing behind the loud blonde waved over his head, making the 23-year-old smile secretly to himself.

"Just when things were starting to get a bit boring…" L muttered to himself as he finished the last bit of his ice-cold coffee. "Good to see you too, boys."

'Let's see just what you have to contribute to my little dilemma, here…'

* * *


	2. Act I: The Best of Plans

A.N: See, I've gotten some of you interested, right? ... ... Right?! Lol. Appeal to my better nature, darn it! (_Though when you don't have one, I suppose it does make it rather difficult, doesn't it? XD_) Just as a notice, none of these chapters should be beyond 4,000 words, so don't hope for incredibly long chapters.

Short story. Unexpected, this is unexpected. Oh well. Lol. I'm experimenting, I suppose... We'll just say that for my own sake, as well as yours. Lol.

Many thanks to Kitsune55 for beta-ing, by the way!

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." _

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: _**Shoot for the Moon**_

_Act I:** The Best of Plans**_

* * *

"You have _got _to be shitting me."

"Oh shit. You're _so _shitting the hell out of him."

"I mean… this…"

"Volcano Mello, ready to explode. Al-right…"

"This is… this is… this is just _TOO MUCH!!_"

"Yeah! Give it to him, and give it to him good!"

"I've had _enough _of this crap! And on top of that, you're brooding?! Brooding?! Since when do you _brood_, Mr. Mc-Now-Brood-A-Lot!"

"Keep it going, Blondie, you're on _FIRE_!"

"This… this… this is _ridiculous_! I can't even _begin_ to describe just how _stupid _you're being! And this is _me_ saying this! I'm like, you're number one disciple! I'm almost speechless!"

"That's what I'm talking about! Lay it on him, yo! Make him feel the guilt of a thousand irresponsible baby-daddies, and make him face the wrath of ten thousand Oprah's! Go Murray on his ass! DO THE RIGHT THING, DAMN IT! That was the movie!"

"Matt! Shut the hell up already! Now-" Blonde hair flew around wildly as the twelve-year-old boy dressed in head-to-toe leather growled out at the redhead sitting next to him, who looked much more amused than a person who was just scolded ought to have looked. "Damn it, what in the _hell _are you waiting for, already!?!"

"Double hell yeah! After watching you pine for just twenty minutes, I have to ask along with Pablo over here just what is it you're waiting for, genius?! Mello's only got so many ways he can say 'You suck!' before out right saying it and then proceeding to commit career-suicide from talking shit to his boss and bestest idol ever!" Bringing down his hand in a flamboyant show of fake-exasperation, Matt laughed as Mello swung a gloved fist in his direction. "Ok, ok… serious moment, (_I said I'm being serious, damn it!_) How long do you think he's going to be sitting there while you're moping your life away for some of that delicious piece of scrumptious ass-pie?"

"… Hm." The dark-haired panda-like man felt his lips twitch upward as his omniscient stare stayed right where they were, a certain brown-eyed beauty taking up all of his attention for the moment… "I do like pie."

"Are you even listening to us, L?!"

"Of course, Mello." L gave the boy a simple glance as he tilted his head towards the side, where the blonde haired child fumed silently. "And please, do make sure that if you are going to use my name, at least say it a bit more quietly. If not, one of my aliases would of course be more acceptable."

"I think you're just asking for a miracle, now." The redheaded adolescent snarked beside the older man, snickering softly to himself as he snapped his orange goggles back down onto his face with a deft twist of one of his fingers. "Asking Mello to be quiet is like asking a grizzly bear to not go after picnic baskets. It's just not done, Boo-Boo."

Mello flailed his arms as the man in between them nearly sweat dropped in agitation. "SHUT THE HELL UP, MATT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! I SO _CAN_ BE QUIET IF I WANTED TO BE, TONY THE DAMN TIGER!"

"… … … See what I mean?" Matt fixed his faux fur vest before smirking. "And Mello? Tony the Tiger? You're just so awesome. I've always secretly known that you think I'm just grrrrrrrreeat!"

"Mello should have really seen that one coming." L muttered as he dug into his pocket and pulled out an uncovered linty strawberry lollipop, shoving it within his mouth with barely a flinch at the stale fruity and mothball taste invading his tongue. "I believe Matt has been waiting a good four years to be able to use that line."

"You know what, fuck you and you're little gaming-machine/life-mate, too, you creepy game-molester." Mello snapped at Matt, not even deigning to give L a second glance before dropping his hand onto the table with a loud ostentatious sigh of irritation.

After a couple of seconds of trying (and failing) to ignore the stoic detective-turned-civilian (for the time being), Mello finally turned towards the misanthropic 'brooder' next to him. The blonde haired punk sneered as his _mentor_ gave him an apathetic roll of the eyes. "You know what? Whatever. The fact of the matter is, _Ryuuzaki_, you should be tapping that by now! I don't understand how you can watch someone for half a year… and _still _have not made any moves on the kid by now. I mean… I mean, really Ryuuzaki! _**HALF**_ A_** YEAR**_! WHY IN THE HELL AREN'T YOU TAPPING THAT BY NOW, DAMN IT?!"

"No excuse, I tell you." Matt smirked as he tapped a few buttons on his DS and gave Mello a cheesy thumbs-up. "You're so wise, Mello. Like a miniature Buddha covered in hair!"

"Oh dear god, will you stop quoting crappy movies already and get with the program, you technology-whore?! And stop comparing me to a damn dog, you ass, before I take your computer shit and beat the crap out of it until you cry!"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones… but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls if you go near my tech stuff, Mello!"

"Damn it, Matt! ENOUGH WITH THE DUMBASS MOVIE QUOTES!"

L sighed as he watched his two younger apprentices nearly fell off their chairs in near amusement, the blonde on his left with an unhealthy penchant for extra-tight leather and chocolate fussing loudly with an irritating whine to his voice as the redhead on L's right simply laughed obnoxiously, the Nintendo DS in his hands not wavering in the least as the blazon white and black stripes splashed across the eccentric child's shirt seemed to roll from the force of the teen's guffaws.

"Is it possible for the two of you to be just a bit more discreet? I don't believe all of Japan, including _the person we are currently watching _knows what we're here for." The dark-haired insomniac shifted in his chair, already out of sorts from his much more conservative sitting still. Opting to not give into the urge to just pull his legs up and stare unwittingly at the person just meters away from them in his own little world, reading his book as random tourists and strangers passing by gave him continual wayward glances…

"Seriously! Just… just go up to him and say what you've been thinking for the last _six months _you've been watching him, you dumb hobo! Like… like… Oh, I got it!" Matt almost bounced within his seat as L felt the migraine stewing in the back of his head simmer into a full broil.

"Ahem-'Hey, sexy. I've been staring at you creepily for nearly a half a year now, and I've only just now managed to get the balls to actually talk to you up close and personal instead of at a distance, which may or may not be my M.O., believe it or not. But just to start off this already incredibly longwinded and awkward conversation with a snap… tell me, how do you feel about vigilante justice, and people who participate in it, baby?'"

"You are so funny, Matt." L deadpanned, his ebony orbs narrowing only the smallest of bits as L sucked on his lint/strawberry flavored lollipop. "Your hilarity is killing me. _Truly_. I am dying of uncontrollable laughter as we speak."

"On the inside, L?" Mello smirked over at the older man, arms crossed over his leather-clad chest.

L's face only became all the stonier as his gaze switched over from one pain in his rear to the other.

"Oh, _ever so much._"

"So tell me, L…" Matt finally whispered, watching as the person L was watching brushed back his pretty golden brown locks, the owner's sepia eyes still trained directly in front of them as they then turned the page of the book they were reading. The streets rumbled with cars and pedaling feet as random pedestrians walking along the sidewalk of the café the little rag-tag group had absconded with for the time being chanced glances at the misfits still staring adamantly at the tanned Adonis stuck in his own little world as he continued to read on the inner-workings of a psychopath.

Matt always knew that once L fell, it would be for one of the crazies he usually put in jail to begin with.

"So tell me," The young boy repeated himself, eyes bright behind the goggles that covered them. "After nearly an hour of staring at the same piece of booty you have yet to go up to, how did you manage to get yourself caught up in _this_ one?"

"You know, that's a good point…" Mello mumbled, tapping his fingers against the table as he secretly wondered where he kept his last piece of chocolate, and if it was safe from prying, annoying, little grubby hands (a.k.a. Near).

L blinked as he tilted his head to the side and scratched his ear, dark raven locks of hair gently falling over to obscure his left eye as he continued to stare at the man-child bathed in golden light, just meters away from their table…

"Well…"

* * *

_L sighed as he entered the metropolitan area, the car behind him lingering for only a moment before it quickly sped off in a flash of black and chrome. _

"_How do I always seem to find myself in these damning situations?" The sable-haired detective muttered, wondering if there was anyway to grab a taxi and sneak into a cab and hide within his hotel room where the older man would not be able to find him for the next three or four hours. _

_And then L thought about Watari's innate ability to __**always**__ be anywhere first, no matter __**what**__ the circumstances._

'_Damn you, Watari. Damn you, your insane ninja skills along with your persuasive sweet-talking abilities to hell and back.' 23-year-old uncomfortably fidgeted with his pockets before slumping forward, not at all paying attention to where he was going…_

"_Oomph!" _

_L felt himself tilt backwards as he collided into the brick wall in front of him before a tanned hand shot out to catch him just in the nick of time, warm skin grasping at L's slightly cooler pale white grasp. Taking in a sigh of relief, the pedestrian investigator tilted his head to the side, ready to give his own small version of thanks to whatever stranger was gracious enough to catch his rather fool-hearty stumble-_

_Only to be met with __**the most **__gorgeous hazel brown eyes L had ever seen in his life. _

"_Are you alright?" The beautiful face those eyes were adjoined to scrunched up in concern as L felt his mouth drop open, a small blush exploding across his cheeks, too in awe in the boy's flawless visage to actually be paying attention to anything that was coming out of his lovely mouth. "I didn't think you hit your head __**that**__ hard…" _

_Still in the land of his daydreams, L barely felt the same hand that had caught him take him by the arm and maneuvered him back onto the sidewalk, leading him to God knows where._

'_As long as he's leading me, I think I'd go to Hell and back…' _

* * *

"La-me…"

"Matt, shut up! L is still telling his story! So… you almost fell on your ass after hitting a brick wall, because you were being all whiney and emo about being outside-"

"You're the best detective in the world, and your motor skills along with your temper tantrums are that of a three-year-old? This does not bode well for us, Mels."

"Stop calling me that, you douche-bag. Now, where was I? Oh… yeah, uh, lover boy over there caught you all suave and sophisticated-like, and… then what?"

"Then…"

* * *

"_Uh…" _

"_Here you go." The light-haired man set down the piping hot cup of coffee in front of L as the older man, now a bit more aware of his surroundings, gulped, slumped within his seat in a rather 'normal' fashion. _

_There went forty percent of his mental capabilities._

"_This place makes good coffee… I usually come here a lot when I need some time for myself." Sitting down in the chair across from the dark-haired investigator, the helpful stranger (who just so happened to also look like a male-model in disguise) gave him a small smile before taking his own coffee and bringing it to his lips…_

_Mm…_

_Nice. _

"_Are you feeling a bit better?" Looking down at his own cup of coffee (Light and presumably sweet? L sure hoped so…), L carefully picked up the cup and brought it to his lips, nodding in agreement as the smile on the beautiful stranger's face grew all the bigger. "Good. I was afraid you had a concussion or something."_

"_Ah… I suppose I was just a bit surprised by the hit. I am usually not so tactless to run into a wall, of all things." L finally said, glad that his first time speaking with the spectacular looking gentleman didn't come out a jumbled mess of nonsensical words. "I apologize if I bothered you with my slight mental block, uh…"_

"_Raito, Yagami Raito." The boy supplied, his eyes brightening all the more. "Hey, I guess we're all allowed our moments, right?"_

"_As long as they just stay 'moments', then I will have to agree, Yagami-san." Listening to the other's clear, bell-like laughter, L felt his stomach flutter, wondering if he was starting to get sick or if he ingested something bad earlier that day…_

_Though if consuming cake, ice-cream, candy, chocolate-covered fruit and sweets of all kinds in particular was wrong, L didn't think he wanted to be right. _

"_Nice." Raito smirked before taking another sip of coffee, and moving to get up off of his chair. "Well, as long as you're feeling better, I guess I should be on my way…"_

"_Wait!" Quickly grabbing his hand, two different sets of faces turned bright magenta red as both Raito and L gave each other wide-eyed glances, embarrassment filling both of their beings. Letting go of Raito's hand, L tried to remedy the situation, "Uh… if Yagami-san has the time to spare, I wouldn't mind it if he were to stay and finished drinking his beverage with me."_

"_I… would really like to, to tell the truth-"A shrill cry of Raito's phone cut the poor boy off as he gave the man an apologetic smile. "Ugh… I know who that is. Sorry… but… I really have to get going. But… um… this is my favorite spot. Maybe… we'll see each other again sometime-"_

"_Ryuuzaki. Yagami-san may just call me Ryuuzaki." L pulled out a random alias and tilted his head to the side, watching the pretty brunette nod and grimace as he pulled out his cell phone, not liking whoever's name was blinking on the little device's screen. "It was nice meeting you, Yagami-san." _

"_You too, Ryuuzaki-san." _

_And with an absent wave of a hand and a perfect spin of a beautiful head of hair, there went L's now newest point of obsession, dark eyes tracing over every line and curve of the other male's retreating body. Sighing to himself in disappointment, L took another sip of coffee and glanced down at the now-cooling liquid, not noticing the secondary glance the other man sent his way as he continued his trek onward north. _

_Drat._

* * *

"Really? He actually… gave you an opening?" Matt looked at the man with an air of suspiciousness, already familiar with L's penchant for lying his head off and somehow making _you_ look like the idiot for believing him.

"… I suppose so, now thinking back about it."

"And… after having him basically tell you to meet him again at the same damn place we are now… and actually _talk_ with him… and quite possibly _hit that on a later date… _You didn't take the bait… at all."

"No…"

"L, honey-pie, we love you to death, but, please answer us this;" Matt shook his head as he pushed his goggles up on his forehead and absently rubbed the bridge of his nose with one hand. "Were you, or are you, for that matter, on any drugs that we don't know about?"

"I think the better question to ask is if the _other _guy is on drugs." Mello whispered, not looking the least bit sorry as the oldest of the three sitting down between them narrowed his eyes and… _pouted_. Full blown. Tilt of the lips. _Pout_. "Sorry, L, it's just… damn. You go catatonic, and then you get all freaky-eyed and touchy… and he _still_ gives you an open invitation to meet him again? This guy has to have some crazy going on underneath all that so-called perfection."

"Hah. L's interested in him." Matt gave Mello a high-five as both boys laughed. "That's a given no matter _what_ way you look at it."

"Making-Fun-of-L-Five!"

"Oh Yeah!"

"Jealousy." L mumbled as he sulked even further, wishing he had a piece of cake to go along with his 'Raito-Watching'.

'L has officially lost his goddamn mind.' Both boys thought simultaneously, shaking their heads as the ebony-eyed detective fidgeted with his jeans before shuffling his sneaker-clad feet uncomfortably.

"I'll tell you something, though… What you need…" Mello mumbled through his mouthful of chocolate, arms waving emphatically within the air as one hand, which still held the clutched piece of said candy within its grip, was flailed about like a flag. "Is…"

"Plastic surgery?"

"No, a-"

"New personality?"

"_No_, a-"

"Hope for the hopeless? Some self-confidence? A little _less _self-confidence? A light saber? Cool special-effects? A new toaster? Oh, just end the suspense already!"

"Matt, how many times do I have to tell you to shut up in one day?!" The blonde pre-teen gave his best friend a nasty glare before smirking over at L, showing the full extent of his bipolar-ism.

Ignoring the shiver making it's way down his back, the dark-haired detective leaned forward, the balls of his feet the only thing keeping him fully balanced on his chair as he paid special attention to everything that was coming out of his protégé's mouth.

"No, what L needs… is a _master plan_."

* * *


	3. Act II: Creating a Disillusion

A.N: _Playa_, _playa's_... Sorry. I just got done watching "Tropic Thunder" and I'm a little hyper.

Though I have to say, I officially love Robert Downey Jr. as a black man. Tis the smexy-hilariousness, yo. Lol! This chapter is short, but funny. I'll say. I love it. And quite frankly, the kid's insanity begin scare me in this chapter, and only grows on me from here. It's... kind of sad. And doesn't say much about my own sanity, to be quite honest. Yay. XD More movie and book references by the way! It's... all kind of obvious when you read it, which is why I'm admitting it all now and saving myself the trouble. I don't own any of it, if asked. Double yay.

I give zee thanks to Kitsune-55 for beta-ing this piece of insane work! That poor, poor soul. Lol!

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." _

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: _**Shoot for the Moon**_

**_Act II: Creating a Disillusion_**

* * *

"A 'master' plan." L gave the boy his patented 'Are You Dumber than a Fifth Grader' stare (which, in retrospect, wasn't much different from all of his _other_ stares…) before bringing his thumb up to his mouth. "Because being the number one detective in the world, I could not have produced one _myself_…"

"If that's the case, why haven't you done so already?" Matt snapped, looking a bit agitated as he glared down at the tiny screen in front of him. "We're just here for the case. Didn't know you were hung up on a cute little boy-toy at the same time, my friend. Though it _does_ explain why you need help in the first place, seeing as your concentration isn't even on the case _at all_."

"We're here to help _you_, L." Mello smirked as he took another bite of his chocolate. "We're your fairy god mother's, only much more cool and definitely not as gay."

"Hm…"

"Well…"

"…"

"…"

"We'll say that." Matt smirked as Mello felt his eyebrow twitch in agitation.

"You know what? Fuck the both of you."

"Why is Mello using such gratuitous language this time?" A pale-skinned pre-teen with silvery-white hair and dark brown eyes blinked as the three males still sitting at the table glanced over at the speaker in question. The wide-eyed child now holding three Toys-R-Us Bags filled to the brim with what they could only guess were toys meant for children half of his already young age blinked once more, wondering if his companions could be any dimmer in the head.

"Because he enjoys sounding uneducated and, obviously, was the punch-line to many jokes when he was younger, thus pointing out his demented Napoleon Complex." L pointed out, pulling his legs closer to his person as Mello pouted. "Now, did you enjoy your toy-shopping, Near?"

"Yes, L, thank you for asking."

"So do not have a complex of any kind, you bunch of pricks..." Mello mumbled to himself, wondering if anyone would _really_ miss the damn little white-haired freak if he threw him out of a window of a spec-_tacularly _high building…

"But that is not the point. The point is, that you both are correct. I do not have the sufficient 'people' skills to simply go up to Yagami-kun and introduce myself without either making a fool of myself entirely or being brushed aside in disgust, either options of which do not sit well with me at all." L pointed at the three young boys, each of them showing varying degrees of surprise (except for Near, who just stared at the man with his usual sleepy eyes and blank look on his face). "Though it _pains _me to admit this, I do indeed need all of your help. Think of this as… a mission."

"A mission?"

"Yes," L nodded over at Near as the small boy shrugged, hoping they could get back to their hotel room before dinner. His action figures were calling his name again. "A _mission_."

"Wow. Who knew relationships could be so difficult to manage." Near stoically replied, already having known about the whole situation beforehand.

"Shows what you know, whitey." Mello growled out, quite sure Near had already known about this whole situation beforehand.

The bastard.

"Well I understand where you're coming from, home-dog-detective. But be careful, L, be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork."

"DAMN IT, MATT, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE DAMN MOVIE QUOTES?!"

"Jesus, Mello. Chill… Your vibe is killing me, like… all sorts of dead. No me gusta, Senor Chavez, no me gusta at all." Matt dug deeper within his seat as Near took a seat next to him, putting down his large bags and pulling out a small bag of marbles from his pocket. "What we need to do is figure out a way to manage to get L and this… hey, L, what's his name again?"

"Raito."

"This, Raito guy, to meet again, and have L come out looking totally awesome and fabulous in whatever situation we manage to conjure up. So much so, that he'll forget all about the freaky eyes, weird clothes-"

"Bad posture-"

"Horrible ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time-"

"Creepy habits-"

"Fetish for sweets and all things strawberry-"

"And-"

"I believe," L just about grit out as the boys turned back "That we _all_ get the point boys. Now… does anyone have any ideas?"

Mello grinned as took another gigantic bite of chocolate, eyes gaining a familiar manic gleam to them once again. "I-deas you say…"

"I…" Matt blurted out, shrinking back into his seat. "Suddenly have the urge to pee in my pants in fear."

'Ditto.' Near and L thought silently to themselves, fearing Mello's outrageous plans even more than his temper any good day of the week.

"You guys are being ridiculous. I know what to do… planning for me is as easy as stealing chocolate from a baby. I would know first hand."

"Dude! Not cool!" Matt protested, looking vaguely disgusted… though his eyes didn't stray from the small screen of his handheld device.

"Somehow, I wouldn't put it past Mello…" Near muttered as he pulled out a random toy from one of his monstrous bags, enjoying the rather shiny tiny race car in all its five-inch glory.

"You guys are being idiots… that kid totally had it coming, anyway." Snapping his fingers, Mello smirked (rather effeminately, really) at the three other males, each one expressing varying degrees of distaste. "Just meet me here tomorrow, same time… same place. I'll show you what the hell is up."

"…"

"…"

"Mello…" L interjected, breaking the somewhat awkward silence as he began fiddling with his pockets. "I do not know if whatever you're planning is such a good idea."

"Stop being so damn paranoid, _Ryuuzaki_. I mean," And Mello added an extra grin here as he stood up from his chair, irony already brewing just over the horizon as L felt his stomach drop to his feet. "What could _possibly_ go wrong?"

* * *

"Damn it, where the hell is Matt?! I told him to meet us at fi-"

"Gangstaaaaaaaaaaasss... what's up guys?"

"Matt…" Mello deadpanned as the redhead stifled another chuckle, goggled eyes trained on the three males in front of him with glee. "Stop being an ass and get over here."

"Ok, ok… I'm totally coming in a non-sexual way." Near and L held in their disgusted faces from the slick remark quite outstandingly, but Mello was not as lucky. "So what's the plan?"

"The plan… is _romancing_." Mello grinned, giving the three other men beside him a corny thumbs-up.

L and Near sweat dropped, wondering if there was someway to _not_ do whatever the hell it was that Mello wanted them to do.

"First's things first," Mello walked around the man, finger tapping his nose as he took in his semi-boss' rumpled appearance, slumping disposition, dark-circled bags underneath his rather creepy-looking wide-eyes…

"I think we have to work on updating your whole… _look_, L." The blonde nodded as he spoke, once again wondering how L even walked outside without getting beaten by hobos.

Though by the state of his raggedy sneakers…

"What does Mello mean?" The world-famous detective pouted, shoving his hands within his pockets as the urge to pull out the random jelly worm residing within one of them prodded at his fingers. "He spoke to me before, looking as I do now, and he did not look as if he had any aversions to the way I dressed."

"Yeah, but that was probably a fluke. Besides, what self-respecting man would want to get into _those_ gigantic pants? Tell me, L, who?!" Shriveling under L's slightly narrowed stare, the leather-clad blonde cleared his throat unexpectedly. "No offense, of course."

"He's got a point, L." Matt threw in, his own hands itching for his non-existent gaming device. "You want this guy to totally like you, right?"

"… Yes."

"And ravish you?"

"Well…"

"And grab you in a fit of passion and whisk you away on a glorious white stallion as you two ride away into the sunset?"

"You have quite the imagination, Matt." Near put a finger on his chin as he tilted his head to the side, curled pewter locks swaying slightly against his forehead. "How long did it take you to come up with that one?"

"… None of your business."

"Damn."

"Oh look, Fabio is about ready to begin talking again!" Matt pointed at Mello as the boy's eye twitched, wondering just how long he could go _without_ kicking his friend's ass.

"Just look at him, he's so sexy when he thinks he's being intimidating. Like a baby Dakota Fanning."

For not very long, it was beginning to look like.

"Matt, shut the hell up before I get that old guy staring at you to fist you up the ass in a not-quite-pleasant sort of way. Now…" Mello grinned as he ignored the distraught look on the redheaded gamer's face and turned around only to sashay (yes, _sashayed_) forward. "Walk this way, ladies…"

"Ladies?"

"I think he's talking to us."

"So says the blonde little girl wearing a leather halter top…"

"Fist. You. Up. The. _Ass_."

"… … … Yes, mother."

* * *

"Do you ever get so bored… you just stare at your balls?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"There _must _be something wrong with you." Mello muttered as they continued to lean against the H&M store wall, not noticing the strange glances all three boys were acquiring (or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge them, anyway). "Because your verbal diarrhea even puts my own shit to shame."

"… I concur." Near blinked as Mello swatted him over the head. "What did I do now, Mello?"

"… … … Don't agree with me. I'll think I'm in the Twilight Zone, or something."

"Note taken."

"… … I think I'm going through gaming-withdrawal. Watch out… I might just hurl over your shoes." Matt garbled, his skin indeed a nice shade of green as his hands itched for something to tinker with. "Why, oh why, did you people do this to me?"

"Where's L, anyway?" Mello completely ignored the moaning redhead as he took off his round shades, the badass 12-year-old huffing out an indignant sigh of impatience. "He's taking _forever_…"

"It's all a part of Mello's plan, apparently." Near needlessly pointed out. "You trusted L to go in by himself, to not scare away the personnel and to _not_ make a scene. I did tell you he should have been chaperoned, didn't I?"

"Who chaperone's a 23-year-old like he's some kind of-"

A woman's high-pitched scream interrupted Matt's inquiry before it could even be fully formed, making all three boys jump up in the air as if they just didn't care.

"Uh…"

"I accept no responsibility for whatever it is that L has done." Near muttered, once again ducking as Mello swatted him over the head.

"C'mon…" Mello growled, grabbing both boy's hands and stomping within the store. "He couldn't have done anything _that_ bad…"

* * *

"Oh my _God_, what the _hell_ did you do in there, Ryuuzaki?! I didn't think that all that kicking there was possible without permanent damage to your… _damn_!"

Near shook his head as Mello continued to yell, Matt laughing his head off in the background as L rubbed his now thoroughly abused cheek and strange limp.

"I did not know there was a woman in there, nor did they have a sign saying that it was the woman's fitting room." L muttered, cringing a little bit less for every step that he took.

"It was right above the door, L. In bold red lettering and purple sparkles." Near dryly stated, remembering the atrocity left within the now vandalized-looking store (courtesy of the crazy blonde woman whom had been continually kicking L in the crotch whilst calling him a pervert and telling him about her 'rape-whistle'), the panicked look within the clerk's and manager's eyes as the boy's attempted to separate said woman from L's twitching body (which had been a near impossible task, mind you) and the lack of bags containing any clothes for the now injured detective.

"I apologize if I wasn't exactly thinking properly, but I wasn't in the best of moods. Their service was absolutely horrendous, and that she-devil didn't even give me a chance to apologize before jumping on me like a mad-woman and screaming the word fire. It wasn't as if she was naked, anyway!" Not noticing the multitude of people now staring at him as if he were nut-job, L continued to grumble, if a bit more silently to himself. "I do not want to shop anymore."

"But, L-"

"Mello, if he is truly as interested in me as I am in him, he will respond to what I usually wear, and that is that!" Walking away as dignified as he could with a limp at his left side, L scratched the back of his head, wondering if the taste of beautiful, non-judgmental cake would take the horrible taste of 'bad day' out of his mouth.

Ah, wonderful, wonderful cake.

At least there was still _one_ thing in the world that would never let L down.

* * *


	4. Act III: To the Beat of Your Own Drum

A.N: Ha-ha, ho-ho, hee-heeee... you all are very satisfied so far, yes? Yes? I hope so. Though some of you wish for L to simply get over his insecurities and just _talk_ to our most favorite mass-murderer in the whole wide world (_though whether he is a murderer here, we just don't know_), it can _never _be that easy in one of my fictions. I do so love the smell of forced complexity in the morning, don't you?

Oh, if only things could be easy. But then, we wouldn't have a story, cuz what would be the point of my writing something of the _normal _variety? O.o; Boring, yes? Lol. Many, many thanks to Kitsune-55 for beta-ing, of course! It's almost a brand at this point; if it was written by Hari-Aisu, it's probably been beta-ed by Kitsune-55! Very, very, true. XD

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." _

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: _**Shoot for the Moon**_

Act III: _**To the Beat of Your Own Drum**_

* * *

"You _must_ be _**joking**_."

"… … Uh…"

"Well…"

"You… uh… see…"

L glared down at the three children staring up at him with large glistening puppy dog eyes, not the least of all impressed as his hand lingered over the edge of the door. The hotel bedroom he was situated in was dark behind him, reflecting his own mood at the moment.

"Annnnnnd, this is where I leave." L spun around, not even deigning to look back at the three sets of distraught faces as he just about swung the door on their faces.

"C'mon, L, this is a good idea!" Mello screeched as he held his foot to the hotel bedroom door, not letting the older man shut the entrance all the way through. "Don't be such a spoil sport! I'm sure another psycho blonde chick with fake extentions and crazy clip-on nails isn't going to attack you this time!"

"_Today_, you mean."

"Yeah, today!"

"_Yeah, today._" Matt mimicked, ducking away from Mello as he swiped a shot at his head. "C'mon, let's be truthful here. L is a creepy ass mo-fo. No matter what he does, he'll probably get attacked by at least one person. Possibly a puppy if available."

"… … If that is you're way of convincing me, then you are not doing very well, Matt." L deadpanned, wondering if it was possible to pick three completely children as his top successors, even if they _didn't _exactly reach his criteria...

"No… the fact that you're too much of a chicken shit to actually suck up your freaking pride and try to get the guy of your oh-so-kawaii dreams tells me that no matter what the hell I say, you're going to be a damn prick about this." Matt barely looked up as he kept his gaze on the small video screen held between his hands, looking as nonchalant as can be. "So you go ahead and be all whiny and emo; quite frankly, my dear, I don't fucking give a damn."

Mello blinked as Near smothered a small creepy smirk on his own face, the banging on L's side of the door ceasing almost immediately.

"Mello, let go of the freaking door and let's go. I just want to get back to Whammy's and forget any of this _ever_happened." The blonde calmly unstuck his foot out from between the door, looking over at Near in complete confusion. The silver-haired boy just shrugged, for once holding onto a blanket instead of a toy and bringing it closely to his face in a faux-comfort maneuver.

"I believe that Matt may be right in ending his endeavors with L and this 'Raito' fellow. L is just fine as he is… alone… with just his work… and _nothing else_. Can't be lonely if you were never with someone to begin with, yes?" Near drawled out, giving Mello the eye beneath the mountain of purple cloth swirling over onto his pristine white pajama top. Within a second's time, a manipulative gleam entranced the blonde's oceanic gaze as he grabbed Near's and Matt's arm and pulled them both away from the tall hotel door along with him.

"I'm not one to give up…" Mello almost smirked as the three turned around and stomped out of the tiny room, not noticing the small opening of the door as it quietly creaked open. "But if my own _idol_ doesn't even want to take a chance… then I think that we should just give up while we're ahead, you guys."

Three separate shit-eating grins split across the three children's faces as the door behind them slammed shut with a quick snap.

"Damn all of you and your horrible reverse psychology strategies." L muttered as he slouched past them, refusing to look behind him to see three laughing demonic figures floating behind him on cloud nine.

"It got you out of the roo-oom…" Matt's voice trailed after L as he slipped on his sneakers and snarled.

"And it'll get me back _into _the room if you continue speaking."

"Shutting up now!"

"… … … _Good_."

* * *

"I cannot believe that I am doing this." L muttered as they stood outside the one thing he thought he would never see a day in his life.

"Aw, L, I come to these kinds of places all the time!"

"I… do not think that that is much incentive for him to actually go inside, Mello."

"Yeah. No bitch-ass-ness, Mello! You're scaring the crap out of L that way!"

"Don't make me pop a cap in both of your asses!" Mello threatened, waving a loaded pistol into the air, causing for many people to stop and stare at the leather-clad 12-year-old screaming off the top of his lungs… with a _very _realistic-looking _gun_ in his _hand._

"_Aw… look at that kid! His dad got him a toy gun, daddy! Why can't I have one too_?!"

"_Because that child plainly looks like a psychotic-murderer-in-training, Shuichi, now get up from off the ground, wipe your damn face and let's go_!"

L sweat-dropped as he brought Mello's hand down and grabbed his arm, shaking his head as the gun disappeared from view.

Where Mello put it, he did _not_ want to know.

But from the way he had grabbed his arm and almost limped inside the small building in front of them, it gave L a good enough idea.

'_Ew._'

* * *

"So what can I do for you today, boys?" A dark-haired Hispanic with a heavy accent and incredibly dark tan stood in front of the hair salon's bright lights and monochromatic swivel chairs in a pose so frightening to L, he actually considered running out of the salon.

But Mello and Matt were currently holding on tightly to his arms, so that was not meant to be.

Oh, the _horror_.

"We want _you_…" Matt smirked as he pointed at the hairstylist before turning to L with his free hand. "To make _him_ pretty."

"Or as pretty as he can get anyway…" Near muttered, shaking his head sadly.

"I don't know…" The skeptical look on the plastic-looking man's face caused the detective to twitch, wondering if it would be horribly scarring on his conscience to mess up the man's place of work and run for it while he still could… "It's going to take a lot of work. Possibly some reconstructive creams, blow-dries, conditioning… but his hair is not the only problem my friend! Jesus, just how deep are those bags on your face?! And your skin… are you the spokesperson for insomnia, my dearest customer?!"

L didn't deign to answer the damn question as he leaned back against the suspiciously flamboyant hairdresser…

But the man in front of him, on the other hand, did continue forth regardless.

"Sit him down over there by the sink, and I will begin my process in a moment's time." The hairstylist sighed as he dramatically put a hand against his forehead and flounced. "I think I'm going to have to cancel _all_ of my prior appointments…"

"You do that, Tim Gunn! We'll just be right over here… _watching your prey_." Matt laughed as L glared over at him and sat down at he sink and perched his legs up so that his feet were leaning over the edge of the seat.

The hairstylist stared at him for a moment, eyes wide with disbelief, before he scuttled over to his phone on the other side of the salon.

"Do you think we came off too strong?"

Mello capped Matt over the head as Near sighed in boredom.

"What do _you _think, douche-bag?"

"_Touché, mon ami. Touché._"

* * *

"Alright…" Everyone stared awkwardly at L's hair… looking not a bit unchanged even after three shampoos, four conditionings and two restorative treatments. "Uh… Let's just try to give you a cut, and we'll work from there."

"I do not know if that is such a good idea..." L muttered underneath his breath, eyes wavering in debate. "My hair is very delicate, you see."

"Don't worry, m'hijo. If I can't help you, then no one can."

"It's not that… just don't do anything to hurt it, alright?"

"… … I know hair is important, but you're acting as if it's a living, breathing person!" The hairstylist laughed as L continued to stare at him as if he were an idiot through the mirror he was placed in front of.

"…"

"O… k…" Sweat-dropping in embarrassment, the hairstylist swept back his own dark locks of hair from off of his forehead and sighed.

"Just be careful with it, Raul."

"My name is not Raul!"

"It is now. Now be quiet and treat my hair like a princess from a fairytale, or I shall make sure that your utensils are never heard from ever again."

"… … Yes sir."

"Yeah, be ultra careful!" Matt called out from where he was sitting, flipping his fingers rather elegantly over the tiny buttons of the PSP within his hands as his boss' face contorted into one of exasperation. "L's hair is a potential weapon, ya know!"

"What?!"

"He's just kidding." Mello stated, sweat-dropping in embarrassment. "… … _Really_."

Near simply rolled his eyes and sat down beside Matt, pulling out the multiple sets of dice (the former blanket no where in sight) from his pockets and stacking them up on top of the small table in front of him.

"Well, let's just see how much of a monster our little bucket of oats actually is!" Grabbing a comb in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other, the dark-skinned wannabe male model leaned forward and prodded the mass of dark sable locks with his cutting utensils and mini-comb-

"Did that thing just eat my scissors and comb?!" The flamboyant Hispanic man squeaked, not wanting to touch the mass of seemingly carnivorous hair, hands completely clear of the two objects that had once lied within their grasp.

But compelled to move ever so closer to the mass of hair, despite potential any health hazards there seemed to be…

"Here, try this!" Mello chirped as he handed the hairstylist another small comb. "An _experiment _of sorts."

The man daintily grabbed the comb with two fingers and poked the back of L's head-

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"It just… disappeared!" Near cried out, his emotionless façade falling off at the strange sight.

"… … L, you're hair is a massive-scissor/comb-eating-machine!" Mello felt himself pull back from the sight, blue eyes the size of plates.

"Go L-Hair-Pac-man, GO!" Matt, the only one actually being entertained by the ridiculousness of the situation, laughed as L glared at him rather adorably.

"Neither of you are helping in this situation whatsoever…"

"I didn't know we were actually supposed to be assisting here… besides, I think L's hair would rather other wise."

"Yeah, I don't want to piss it off more than it already is, thanks."

"Usually I would call the both of you idiots for saying what you are saying, but I… don't think I want to go near it either."

"Could the three of you _please_ stop speaking of my hair as if it were a separate entity from me?!" L finally snapped, feeling frustrated from lack of sugar intake.

Near shoved a random lollipop into L's mouth, watching the older man blink stupidly.

"What were we saying?"

"Uh…"

"… … … Do you think if we sacrifice something to it… that it will appease the mighty L-Hair-Monster?"

"Dude, just let Pablo, or whatever the hell his name is, take care of it! He's, apparently, a master at his freaking craft!" Mello shouted at the two little boys now blinking over him with large, disbelieving eyes.

"Just how well do you _know_this Pablo fellow, eh Mello?"

"About as well as I know you, you jackass."

"Ohhhhh… BURN!" Matt sarcastically yelled out, not the least bit fazed by the blonde's antics.

"Alright!" The hairstylist returned with a belt filled with scissors, curling irons, straight-irons, combs, and various hair-styling products. "This will be my most important mission… stand back, boys. My hands itch for competition."

"That's what _Matt_ said last night."

"Ohhhhh… DOUBLE BURN!"

"Everyone, quiet!" The hairstylist pulled out his industrial-sized scissors and slipped on a pair of large goggles over his dark-mocha-colored eyes. "I… have a miracle to perform."

Mello, Matt and Near said nothing more as they simultaneously sat down on the painfully bruising plastic chairs… and simply _watched_.

* * *

"I refuse to ever do that for _anyone_ _**ever again**_."

Watari stifled an onslaught of laughter as he sat in the chauffer's seat of the car, the three children huddled across from L staring straight down at the suede interior of the car flooring. One last glance at his boss through the car mirror above him, and Watari knew that he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Pfft…" It started out quietly…

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

But it just could not be contained.

L felt his eye twitch as the sound of Watari's guffaws were then overshadowed by three sets of children's laughter, all high-pitched and clumsy-sounding. Folding his legs over the edge of the leather-clad seat beneath him, L brought up a pale hand and ruffled his partially curled/straightened/angled-cut hair so that within three seconds…

"Dude." Matt stopped laughing almost immediately as he stared at the hair falling from L's head.

"What the what?" Mello gasped, tilting his head to the side in a sign of pure unadulterated awe.

"How…" Near just about popped out of his seat as he leaned forward, still a good distance from L himself as he brought his hand down from his head of hair-

Now looking the same as it always did, before the hands of an evil hair-stylist had dared attempted to tame its wild mane.

"And the world shall never know." L mysteriously smirked as he bit his thumb, inwardly soaking in the looks on all three of the boy's faces as they then leaned back against the cushy seat underneath them and _away_ from L himself.

"Or at least that's what you tell yourself when you have nothing better to do but bask in the awe of your own 'genius', anyway." Watari muttered sarcastically to himself as he twisted the key within the ignition, a small smile still lingering on his lips as L's eyes once again twitched involuntarily.

"Watari…" The sulky detective snapped as he burrowed himself within his arms and knees once again. "Just shut up and drive."

* * *

"RAITO, OH MY GOD, YOU JUST MISSED IT!"

Raito blinked as he closed the shop's clear door behind him, hazel-brown eyes rounded from the unexpected shout and near-glomp his hairstylist almost threw his way as he entered teh establishment. "Are you alright? It's not anything horrible, is it?!"

"THE MOST STRANGEST MAN-"

"Indoor voice, Marco." Raito quietly interrupted, making the hairstylist jump up and down as he nodded in agreement.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Raito! Sit down, sit down! Well, anyway, this strange man with three children came in just a little while ago and his HAIR, Raito! I couldn't do anything with it! I mean-IT ACTUALLY ATE NOT ONE, BUT **TWO** OF MY FAVORITE PAIRS OF SCISSORS, RAITO!" Marco began to wail as he patted Raito on the head, not noticing the young man roll his eyes in exasperation.

"I don't think that's possible, Mar-"

"I KNOW WHAT I SAW, RAITO!" Bawling into his hand as he dramatically turned away from his most favorite client, Marco's eyes began to mysteriously glisten. "YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARED ABOUT GALINDA AND ELPHABA! _THEY WERE MY PRIDE AND **JOY**!_"

"I'm sure you'll live, Marco." Raito laughed as he allowed the man access to his hair, even through his crying jags and wails.

"Yes, well, I suppose you're right… who would have thought some dark-haired, rumpled-looking weirdo would put me in a panic, yes?" Not noticing the sudden tension within Raito's face as he said this, the hairstylist continued on unnerved, tear-stained cheeks now flushed red. "What a freak."

"Yeah." Raito blinked as he leaned back and gave a small fake laugh, mind whirling with newfound questions as something familiar about the sentence struck a chord within his memory. "_Right_."

While Marco gently scrubbed at his hair, Raito struggled to understand just _why_ his heart seemed to be pounding so heavily against his chest, almost as the organ itself was trying to make the college student remember something he just couldn't seem to reach on his own…

'What is this feeling…?'

* * *


	5. Interlude: Back to Earth

A.N: Hey, what's up? A lot of things, apparently... Yeah. I'm corny. Lol. Here's the next chapter, my peoples. Hopefully, you'll appreciate our little interlude within the crazy-craziness. Nothing to really say, except enjoy.

Thanks so much to Kitsune55 for beta-ing, by the way! Woot!

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." _

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: _**Shoot for the Moon**_

_Interlude:** Back to Earth**_

* * *

"_**You have… five new messages. First message**__-"_

"_Hey, L-Dog! It's Matty-Matt in the hiz-house! Listen, before you have another one of your bitch-fits, I think I've got a great ide-"_

_**BEEP! **_

_**Message deleted.**_

"_**Second Message**__-"_

"_HE-LLOOOOOOOOOOOOO?! L?! ANSWER THE PHHHHHOOOOOOONNNEEEEEE, IT'S __**GOD **__CALLINGGGGGGGGGG FOR HIS DAILY SHOT OF L-GOODNESS! … … … L… … DAMN IT, PICK UP THE PHONE, YOU PRI-"_

_**BEEP! **_

_**Message deleted.**_

"_**Third Message**__-"_

"_Greetings, L. I am simply calling to see how you are holding up after last week's multiple sets of fiascos. Though it was delightful for me to watch, it looked rather scarring from your end-"_

_**BEEP! **_

_**Message deleted.**_

_**BEEP! **_

_**Message deleted.**_

_**BEEP! **_

_**Message deleted.**_

L sighed as he unplugged his answering machine and threw it against the wall, smirking in satisfaction as the broken remains lay scattered on the floor.

'Well… that made me feel _much _better.'

Looking back at his laptop, which was still lying on his coffee table untouched and unopened, L wondered if he was going to get any work down today.

"L… I brought you the cake you wanted." Watari called out as he entered room, barely lifting an eyebrow at the now broken answering machine which lay in a heap across the room or L's pouty face and narrowed eyes.

Sighing to himself, L knew his answer.

'_Well, that's a big N-O, isn't it?_'

* * *

"Watari?"

"Yes, L?"

L felt himself waver in his thoughts as he stared at his old friend and mentor, wondering if he really _was_ being a melodramatic idiot about the situation he was in.

"… … I…"

"What's the matter, L?" Watari cut in, not use to L being so hesitant about _anything_, really. Though he knew that it was probably even worse for L, who honestly did not know how to phrase what it was he _really_ wanted to say. "Does it have something to do with the case you are _not_ working on?"

"No… unfortunately." The 23-year-old mumbled out loud, feeling as if he was ready to beat the crap out of himself for being so… so… _himself_.

"I do not know what to do." The young man admitted, feeling as if he were giving up vital information to a potentially lethal case.

"That certainly took a lot of effort on your part, didn't it?" The older man dryly stated, his laughing blue eyes not fooling L in the least.

"Of course it did. No need to rub it in anymore than necessary." The wide-eyed detective felt himself nearly snarl at the inventor, wondering if _everyone_ was trying to push his buttons this week. "I am very nearly stumped on how to proceed with… _you know what_."

Watari smiled as he placed the small plate of strawberry shortcake in front of the pouting detective slouched within his large plush seat, his laptop no where near his person as he picked at his food. "Things like attraction are never as easily solved as a mathematical equation or riddle. These kinds of things do take time and effort, two things you have very little of, mind you."

"But those things cannot be _too_ difficult to acquire, as well." L sulked, still not taking a bite of his cake. "I do not have to change myself in order to be patient, and time is something relative. If I wanted to, I could gain more of each."

"Oh, L..." Shaking his head, Watari felt his lips pull themselves into a grin without his consent. "You and I know that it is not as simple as just _stating_ that you can _change_, especially when you've conditioned yourself to be a certain way for all of 23 years. Personality traits aren't something you can just turn off and on like a switch. I'm sure if you simply introduced yourself to the bo-"

"No." L pulled his legs closer to his person as he felt his appetite float away from him. "He would not like me as I am. I am blunt, manipulative, and, at the best of times, a complete ass-hat. If even I can admit this, I would hate to think what other people think about me when they meet me, and not a lot of people have met me to begin with."

"You're overanalyzing this, L. You aren't going to die if he doesn't like you. You've already met him once, I'm sure the second time would be much easier than the first. Besides…" Sitting beside his ward, Watari ignored the perplexed glance sent to him by L as he relaxed for a moment, legs aching from hours of running around and trying to keep up with L's latest slump. "No matter what pedestal you've perched him upon, even he can't be _that_ perfect himself, L. Everyone has their share of flaws."

"He doesn't hide himself from the general public in fear that people may lynch him for the things that he does." L blankly stated, earning himself an eye roll on Watari's part. "I think that no matter how you look at it, unless he's a secret serial killer, rapist or raging pedophile in his spare time, he's pretty much out of my league."

"Well…"

"It would be a relationship based on half-lies and deception. I would never be able to admit who I really was…" The more L spoke, the more depressed he became. "Besides, I do not even know if he is actually… well, homosexual. I may be chasing after a lost cause."

"I'm sure you could scare the gay into him, L, if that's what you're worried about."

L gave Watari a dirty glare.

"That was underhanded, Watari."

The older man then proceeded to laugh in pure satisfaction, which seemed to be a regular occurrence these past couple of weeks.

"Why yes it was." Patting his charge on the hand in fatherly manner, Watari once again laughed as L plucked his hand off his head and shook his hair like a dog. "L, until you accept that relationships are not something you can pick out of a catalogue and order through the mail, I think that you're pretty much screwed."

"… … … Well, that was rude."

"But so very true."

"Touché." L sighed as Watari picked himself up from the couch and dusted himself off, picking up the platter that was actually still filled to the brim with cakes and pastries. "I just do not know how to do this without… well, without being_ myself_."

"Well, you can only be someone else for so long, L. You're trying to complicate this way too much, L. This isn't a suspect you're tailing or case your trying to decipher. Relationships can only be built one way…"

"And that's through communication. I have already heard this speech from you before, Watari."

"Yet you never seem to listen." Watari sighed before making his way out of the room. "Just remember one thing, L."

"Yes, Watari?"

"When everything falls into place," The old man smiled mysteriously as he began to close the door behind him. "I _did_ tell you so."

L felt his eye twitch as the door closed, wondering if he was cursed with people who were _absolutely no help whatsoever_.

"Damn it."

* * *


	6. Act IV: The Games Which We Play

A.N: Meh. I felt bad that the last chapter was so short (though it was only suppose to be a small interlude, so I suppose my guilt is technically unfounded. Oops.), so here's Act IV on the house! I have to say one thing though, uploading this story most definitely keeps me from thinking about LIA, which is currently giving me monumental headaches of volcanic proportions. -.-; Let's just say it's not pretty and leave it at that, huh?

On a lighter note, I like how everyone's taking to my newly humanized-L with stalker tendencies! Yay! Usually in these kind of stories (Stalker!L stories, I mean!), there's some kind of angst-story or overly-redundant reason as to why L is keeping a watch on Raito. I, like always, wanted to try something new! Well, new to me, anyway. XD Let's just let the book/movie/TV show references roll yet again!

Many thanks goes to Kitsune-55 for beta-ing, by the way! Hopefully school is doing the body good so far...? ((Sweat-drop)) I won't push my luck, then. Lol! Hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." _

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: _**Shoot for the Moon**_

_Act_ _IV:** The Games Which We Play**_

* * *

"And here we go again."

"Oh yeah… Giggidy, giggidy."

"Dude, seriously. You need to grow up eventually."

"L's like in his forties and he hasn't grown up yet! He's like… Peter Pan up in an old man's body! Why should I grow up and become miserable when he's livingthe good life, and loving it at his ripe age of old-ness?!"

"L's only 23, you idiot! Have you seriously not been paying ANY attention to any of the conversations we've had thus far?!"

"_FWUAH-DUDE, SERIOUSLY?!_" Ignoring the rest of what Mello had to say after hearing L's true age, Matt almost stumbled over his feet and dramatically waved his arms in the air like a bird about to take flight.

"Matt seriously did not know that?" Near questioned the semi-precocious blonde as he attempted (in vain) to stifle another set of out-of-character giggles from pouring over his lips, feeling more entertained in the span of the last two weeks than he's been in almost eleven _years_.

Mello face-faulted as Matt then began to ogle the detective's face with a sick combination of both shock and fright, wondering what he did in a past life to actually deserve all of this.

"… Yes."

"… … … L, you need to take better care of yourself!" The striped-shirt boy yelled in the detective's ear, acting every bit the fool, and loving it. "You look like you're already halfway into your grave!"

"_So _not helping, you moron." Mello gritted out as L flinched, only to then glare down at the redheaded gamer that seemed to be just as blunt as he was.

L was still trying to figure out if this was such a good thing or not.

"Oh, maybe it is not helping L, but for me, this is entertainment abounds." Near muttered as he pulled his bright blue and banana yellow Mighty Morphing Power Rangers closer to his chest, a small (_creepy!_) smirk resting on his lips as the two boys beside him continued to argue as quietly as they could without drawing anymore attention than necessary. L rolled his eyes as he waited in his usual seat, the person he was so unusually captivated by still not in his usual spot.

"So Mr. Perfection-in-a-Bottle still isn't here yet, huh?" The dark-haired detective sighed as Mello sat back against the lean garden-variety chair, the soft wind blowing rather delicately at his misshapen fringe. "L, I have to ask, what is it about this kid in particular that has you so… so…"

"Enamored?" Near provided helpfully, placing the two action figures onto the table, and watching them battle it to the death; Power-Ranger-Style.

"Yeah. That word is just prissy enough to work in this situation." The leather-encrusted boy nodded as he leaned against the table, gloved hands fidgeting with the small candy bar within their grasp.

"I suppose that when the three of you are old enough, that you will then understand." L whispered, looking down at his watch, and sighing to himself. "This is strange. I do not believe that he is coming today."

The three boys glanced around each other, wondering what they could say to their friend and mentor to make him feel any better, yet comingup with nothing.

"If the three of you would like to take a walk around, I would not mind." L picked up his legs and perched his feet over the edge of his seat as he laid his head over his arms. "I believe that I need sometime for myself, if all of you wouldn't mind."

The three preteens glanced at each other before nodding at the now vacant-headed detective, the same series of questions running through their heads as they each stood up at various times and followed the other away from the table so that L could (_finally_) brood in peace.

* * *

"War is upon you! Prepare to suck the cock of karma!"

"What?!"

"Take… THAT!"

"MMPH-GAH!"

_**SPLASH!**_

"HA-HA!" Matt laughed out loud as Mello gave him his patented 'WTF?!' look of _doom_, eyes twitching as a piece of oversized chocolate hung from his mouth, still in a daze of beingpushed back into a fountain and becoming drenched in cold, cold, _cold_ (did he mention COLD!) water.

"That… was unexpected." Near muttered, silently wondering if he should have invested in security before coming onto this particular trip with two of the most mischievous boys in Whammy's House.

"And the lesson of the day, kids… dressing up like a hooker who's into S&M is most definitely _not_ a good idea if your hoping to stay warm after becoming drenched in freezing infested fountain water. Oh _yeah_."

"… You are not helping, Matt!" Mello slapped the water rushing around him with both hands, the feel of wet leather chaffing at his most sensitive of… _areas_.

"You're welcome." The redheaded menace gave an annoying thumbs-up as he snickered, not looking the least bit perturbed.

"We have to think of a plan or something for Ryuuzaki!" Mello announced, as if the past two weeks had been non-existent for him. Climbing out of the fountain, the simmering nymphet attempted to ignore both the disgusting squelchingsound his outfit was now makingas he stepped out of the barricading stone fortress and the well-aimed leer Matt was sending his way in an attempt to break his self-control over his temper even faster than usual. "I mean… something… _effective_, anyway."

"And what would you suggest, Mello?" Near suddenly stated, making Matt and Mello wonder if he was being sarcastic or not. "… Well?"

"I… can't tell if you're trying to be a douche-bag or not in this case. Could go either way, in this scenario…" Matt stated with a smirk, enjoying the glare the older blonde was throwing at him over his shoulder. "But I shall give you the 'douche' points just for the heck of it. You get a gold star for today, little man!"

"Thank you." Near smartly replied, leaving no question as to whether or not he was being sarcastic this time. "Mello? Any thoughts since you are the one whom seems to be most invested in this catastrophe waiting to happen?"

The blondewrung some water off of his form-fitting leather vest as a small smirk began to settle over his lips, scaring poor little Near and Matt in two seconds flat.

"Give me three seconds and a box of bon-bons, and we'll see what I can do, boys." Mello cackled as three children made their ways to the nearest candy store, L's fate now lying in the balance of Mello's mood-swings…

And his favorite box of bon-bons.

This was bound to end in tragic mood-swing-bon-bon annihilation.

_Woe._

* * *

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"_Ryuu-zakiiiii_…"

"No. N-O; no. No-no-no-no-no-no-NO!"

Three sets of eyes gave the oldest male at the table the ultimate stare down as he chewed on his thumb, eyes set on one particular person just a little away from them.

"L, seriously… get the hell off of your ass, and listen to what the hell we have to say."

"… … How about… _no_."

"If you don't, I will, honest to God, go over there and tell him that you want to brutally rape him and kill his spirit to live." Mellosuddenly added into the conversation, dark eyes looking as serious as can be. "I will make you into a ragingrapist with a book-fetish, L. And possibly a cat-lover who molests little itty-bitty kittens in his spare time. Maybe even puppies. And I mean the _cute_ kind… _just because._"

"You _wouldn't_."

Matt and Near gave L a skeptical glance as Mello smirked, his androgynously gorgeous face folding into one of pure _E_-_vil_.

"_Try me_."

"… I will listen to what you have to say," L carefully specified, not trusting the beguiling smile now etched alongside the blonde's cheeks and lips ever-so-inconspicuously. "But I refuse to approach him like… like _this_."

"Just listen to my totally spankin' plan and then you can clamber over my overly-apparent awesomeness in peace!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well, fuck you guys, too." Mello whispered to himself before leaned in and crossed his arms against his slim chest. "I might as well just go over there and watch him give you the look of death! At least I'd have more amusement that way!"

Pale fingers clenched against the dark blue rough fabric surrounding his lower body as L turned his stare over from the temperamental blondein unforgivingcowhide to the pretty brunette with his nose stuck dutifully to the book in front of him.

Mello sighed at the pitiful display of puppy love, wondering just when in the hell he got so _soft_.

"You're scared he's gonna find you creepy, weird and just a bit on the pedophilic side. I get it. You're weird to lookat you, and us sittinghere next to you isn't giving you any brownie points as you stare obnoxiously at the god-like hotness that is… that guy. Like I said; I get it. Truly, I do, L." Mello explained as the two boys beside him rolled their eyes rather objectionably. "Are you seriously going to just stare at him forever and expect him to lookover here after nearly six months of the same thing? Or what about if one day, he just doesn't come back?! You're the best detective-"

"Three detectives." Matt and Near shot in out of nowhere.

"Best three detectives in the world, L!" Mellocontinued, as if he hadn't been interrupted at all. "If this is as big a deal as you're making it out to be, shouldn't you be willing to try _anything_ at this point?"

L sighed as he once again wondered how in the hell these kids managed to rope him into these situations, a familiar quote scuttling its way into his ear and infesting his ransacked imagination.

"_**But love is blind and lovers cannot see**_

_**The pretty follies that themselves commit;**_

_**For if they could, Cupid himself would blush **_

_**To see me thus transformed to a boy**_."

Oh, how right dear old Shakespeare had been.

"Elaborate upon this most-likely-to-be-doomed plan of yours, Mello, and I shall indeed listen." The depressed detective sighed for the umpteenth time, wondering where his ever-resilient back-bone had rallied off to.

"Weeeeeeeellllll…"

* * *

"… This is not going to work…"

"_**SHHHHHHHH**_!"

"I am just saying-"

"_L,youneedtoshutthefuckupor__**thisisREALLYnotgoingtoWORK**_!"

"… … _Fine_."

"Ahem… Matt…"

Matt winked as he waited until all the people within the vicinity (including Raito, of course) were looking away, walking slowly…

Walking _slowly_…

_Walking slowly…_

Mello felt his migraine grow exponentially as Matt milked the damn strut for all that it was worth.

Grabbing a random rock, Mello aimed and threw it directly at Matt's head-

Only to have it connect with a poor pigeon sitting less than a meter away from him.

"… … Mello is so, so cruueeellll."

"Poor, poor birdie…"

"You seriously need help, Near."

"… … I know."

"_Mattjustdoitalreadyyoumoron!_"

Suddenly, Matt (rather flamboyantly) twisted his body and dropped to the ground like a stone, flailing his arms like a giant bird trying to fly off the ground.

"OH MY GOD, I'm… like… fall… ing?"

Matt blinked as someone caught him from behind; a small stocky man with bald spot and really bad facial acne.

"Uh… thank… you?"

"No problem, son!" The older gentleman smiled before lifting Matt up and setting him straight up, happily going on his merry way, leaving one redhead in confused amusement.

Mello sighed as he snapped his fingers in the addicted-gamer's direction, trying to get him to focus once more…

And seeming to fail miserably.

"No more Gears of War for you, Matt!" Mello shouted out at random, pulling his friend out of his stupor-

"WHAAAAAAAAAA-OOOOOMPH!"

Only to do what he was trying to do to begin with, and succeed in falling on his back-

"MY POOR, ACHING BEHIND AND IT'S FUTURE SEXINESS COMBINED HAVE ME SCREAMING IN PAIN! WON'T SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE?!"

And hurting himself immensely.

"Now's your chance, L!" The hero-obsessed blonde whispered as Raitoturned around, his book droppingout of his hands as worried hazel-brown eyes shot over to the child writhing on the ground in pain and… agony? "Make yourself look like the hero by going over there and helping Matt! Pretty boy over there will see you, and if he remembers you, will totally be in awe of your almighty helpfulness!"

"Mello, this sounds incredibly-"

"_**JUST-DO-IT-ALREADY-L**_!"

"ASSISTANCE! I NEED _**ASSISTANCE**_!"

"Fine… but let it be known that I have said that this is _not_goingto work." L replied, just about to get up from his sitting position and go to the now overly-dramatic gamer, spazzingas if he were having an epileptic shock. "_Really_ not going to work…"

"WOE IS ME, AND ALL THAT FREAKIN' JAZZ!"

L's lips almost burst into a grin as Raitowas about to get up from his seat and walk over to the scene along with him when a couple sitting just the slightest bit closer to the poorly-acting redhead and the seemingly dumbstruck pedestrians watching him make a fool of himself began to speak in loud voices.

"Oh, _please_…"

"Don't start…"

"That kid is obviously faking! And don't give me that look, you know it as well as I do that it's true!"

"So what if you're right! He's just a kid! And that fall looked like it really must have hurt the poor boy!"

"_And?! _His parent's should be raising him better than to make an ass out of himself in front of complete strangers!"

"And what if he doesn't _have_ any parents, jackass?!"

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"No, _you're_ being ridiculous."

"Oh, here we go…"

"What if there _had _been something wrong with the poor kid!"

"What?!"

"You heard me! You didn't even get up to see if he was ok!"

"Are you kidding me? His scream sounded as real as a woman faking an orgasm!"

"Well, considering how you haven't been able to tell the difference yet, I think we shouldn't go by your judgment, should we?!"

"_**WHAT?!**_"

"YOU HEARD ME, YOU ASS! I'VE BEEN FA-KING! Do you need a repeat of what I just said? Are you as stupid as you are blind and deaf?!"

"Oh, is _that_ how you're going to play, little Miss-My-Dad-Loves-Gay-Kiddie-Porn?!"

"I TOLD YOU THAT IN SECRECY!"

"WELL, MAYBE _YOU_ SHOULD LEARN HOW TO KEEP SECRETS, YOU RAGING WHORE!"

To L, it was like a horrible car accident come to life.

Gruesome…

And yet you just couldn't _look_ _away_.

'I would usually be amazed by something like this if I wasn't so disgusted with myself at the same time.' L thought to himself as he bit his thumb and watched as the man and woman began to argue amongst themselves _with vigor_.

Mello, Matt and Near had inconspicuously made themselves absent by that time, making sure that the table they were hidingbeneath left nothing to naked eye.

"Seriously!" The random man screamed at the woman next to him, whom seemed to be glaring at the young man with the scorn of a thousand angry women. "I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!"

"I'd like to see you try, you prissy little piece of shit! Grow some balls, and maybe we'll give you some serious credibility! Other wise, go screw yourself, you whiny overgrown man-child!"

"Why the _hell _did I propose to you?!"

"Why the _hell_ did I say yes?!"

"This is most _definitely _not helping…"

"Dude, did we just break up that couple's now totally apparent relationship by doingnothing but being ourselves?" Matt whispered to Melloas L rubbed the bridge of his nose, not even looking up to see the horrified lookon Raito's face just a few meters away from them as he stared at the scene as well. Near merely tinkered with the G.I. Joe in his hand, lookingcompletely oblivious to everything going on around him… as per usual.

"… … … I think we totally just did."

"Sweet!" Matt shouted out, pumping a fist into the air.

"Couple-Breaking-Up-Five!" Mello held out a hand as Matt did an elaborate twirl mid-fist-gasm.

"Woosh!"

Near sweat-dropped as the two giggled like the children they were.

"Boys…"

"I'm going home now." L muttered as he watched the beautiful tanned Adonis stuff his book under his arm and walk away from the scene in front of them with a disturbed look on his face, not feeling the least bit better. "Are you coming, boys?"

Mello, Matt and Near shook their heads as L sighed and walked away from the now fist-fighting couple beating each other bloody, random people trying to set them apart as the children watched him slump off with an even bigger slouch than usual.

"… … We did something stupid again, didn't we?"

Both Mello and Near sweat-dropped as they just waved Matt off, and walked away.

* * *

"I googled murder!" An overly-excited Matt suddenly bellowed out at random, random civilians giving him the stink-eye as Mello and Near stared him with befuddled expressions stamped on their faces.

"You googled _what_?! Why?!"

"… Just because. Do I really need a reason to do the things that I do at this point?"

Near sweat-dropped as Mello felt his eye twitch in agitation.

"Sadly enough, I believe he has a point."

"Damn it! It's been a good two weeks and L isn't any closer to getting laid, you two!" Melloshouted out, his lack of self-control attributing only to the fact that he had probably A) hadn't had any chocolate yet, or B) was sick and tired of the damn situation already.

Matt had to guess that it was a little bit of both, considering the last time Mello had his daily dose of chocolate crack, he had been cackling in joy at the apparent disintegration at someone else's relationship.

"We need a solid plan! Something fool-proof, and ready to get L out of his sexual frustration and back onto the cases and work that have made him as iconic as he is!"

"… … Dude, I definitely don't think _iconic_ is a word we can use on little old L anymore."

"You," Mello pointed at Matt rather rudely, the faux-surprised look on his face almost hilarious to look at. "Are no longer allowed to speak for the rest of the day."

"Are you speaking to _m-oiiiiii_?"

"… … Why am I here again?" Near asked himself out loud, leaning against the fountain Mello had been recently (_and intimately_) acquainted with. "I could be at home, eating some cookies while watching The Backyardigans on On Demand…"

"Dude, you need a _life._"

"Are you people even listening to me?!" Mello finally snapped, oceanic eyes ablaze with renewed vigorous energy. "We can fix him, you guys! IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE! GENTLEMEN, WE CAN REBUILD HIM! WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY! WE HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO REBUILD THE BEST DETECTIVE THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN! RYUUZAKI WILL BE THAT MAN! BETTER, STRONGER, FASTER-"

"… … L's Steve Austin, now?"

"To Mello, yes." Matt calmly explained to the perplexed 11-year-old, who was now backing away from the frantic blonde waving his fists in the air. "To the rest of the world… no."

"EUREKA!"

Matt sighed as Near hid behind him completely.

"Do you ever think to yourself; 'Wow, I'm best friends with that guy'?" Near whispered as he cowered behind Matt's back, not noticing the cigarette now hanging off the boy's lips as the goggled-redhead reached into his pocket for a lighter.

"Yeah… but I usually just suppress it."

"Is that healthy?"

"What's the worse that could happen?"

"… … …" Near watched as Matt looked up into the sky and blanked out completely.

'I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, oh-oh, I'm-a-tumor!'

"Damn…" Matt shook his head as he blinked back into reality. "Uh… So what's the sitch, Mels?"

"Don't call me that." Mello answered automatically, his eyes still glowing with anticipation and giddiness. "And be quiet. I'm… _plotting_."

"Sounds like a venereal disease."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, NEAR! Now… let me scheme in peace…"

Matt sighed once again.

'I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor, I'm-a-tumor…'

Yay for future illnesses that would someday make him old, sad and wrinkly.

* * *


	7. Act V: Basking in a Glow of Light

A.N: You guys are so blowing my mind right now, but really, you guys always blow my mind, so what's the difference? Lol. We're almost getting to the end, my kiddies! After this act, there's only one more act left and then an epilogue. Poor L can only take so much torture, after all. XD Really, besides the last act, this is definitely one of my favorites...

You'll see what I mean. ^.^ Oh, _yeah._

Many thanks to Kitsune-55 for her spectacular beta-ing, as always!

Now go on and read, you guys! Go!

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars."_

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: _**Shoot for the Moon**_

_Act V:_ _**Basking in a Glow of Light**_

* * *

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"_Nooo_."

"_Ye-es_!"

"There is absolutely no way in HELL that L is going to do this!" Mello bellowed out, scaring away a few ducks that had been flocking around him and his two other comrades who were staring at him like he was an idiot.

"Mello, it was your idea." Near stated lamely, wondering if there was actually a method to his fellow competitor's madness.

Though this _was_Mello he was talking about…

"WELL, IT WAS A CRAPPY IDEA!" Mello screamed dangerously close to Matt's ear, though with the way the redhead barely winced, you wouldn't have known it if you were deaf of all hearing.

"… … Regardless of your complaints, we're going to go through with it."

"WHY?!"

"Because I am far too amused at this point to just _stop _what we're doing, of course." Near stared at the blonde as if he were an idiot, which for all intents and purposes, he actually _was_. Once again, this was _Mello_ Near was talking about… "And what if it _does_ work? Then, you will be able to gloat about it for as long as you like. It will be like your own personal victory over me, being the first and only person to play matchmaker to the best detective in the world…"

"This is true…" Mello pushed away all logical thought as he fell for Near's very pretty words (_hook, line aaaannnnddd sinker_) and allure of possible future gloat-age.

"For a little while, anyway." Matt added in, shaking his pity. "So, so very pathetic…"

"Hmm…"

"Mello, I believe you've just been played like a fiddle."

"What was that?"

"I said, 'Mello, look! A flying piece of metal!'"

"Wha-"

_**CRASH!**_

"MOTHER FREAKING COCKSUCKER OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION! _WHO THREW THAT AND WHY ARE YOU NOT DEAD YET_?!"

Holding back snorts of laughter, Near and Matt shooed the four boys whom had been carelessly playing with a bat and baseball, knowing that Mello seemed to attract bad luck as certainly as L seemed to attract bizarre people with diabolical schemes. Watching the boys scurry off in a hurry (_apparently Mello's crazy scared even children their own age away, along with adults_), Near sighed to himself as the leather-clad idiot continued to throw a temper tantrum of epic proportions.

"Did you guys see that?!" The blonde kicked the bat away from him as he rubbed the rather large bump on top of his cranium. "That didn't tickle, damn it!"

"…"

"…"

"… I hurt."

"We know, Mello… We know."

"And we like it."

"WHAT?!"

"I said 'You're now their target!'"

"Oh shit, you're right!"

"WHA-"

_**CRASH!**_

A baseball harmlessly rolled away from their feet as Mello spun around and flailed indignantly at the hysterical children running from the area (_finally_) in fits of laughter and joy.

"DON'T MAKE ME GO OVER THERE AND KICK THE SHIT OUT OF ALL YOU WITH MY BARE ASS HANDS, YOU DAMN IGNORANT SNOT-NOSED CRETINS! I'LL CASTRATE YOUR ASSES AND FEED YOUR DICKS TO MY PERSONAL BULLDOGS FOR A BITE-SIZED SNACK… AND MAKE YOU WATCH!"

"Mello gets more inventive with his nicknames and threats by the day."

"I think it's his only redeeming quality, really."

Mello's eyebrow twitched in agitation as the two other successors beside him nodded in agreement.

"… … You two are going to burn in hell one day."

"And you'll be burning down there with us, Babe."

"Let's not and say we did." Near snapped, finally fed up with the conversation. "Mello, your insane plan that is most likely filled with gaping holes and premises that aren't altogether logical might actually work. Don't you want L to be happy and satisfied with a sex life that doesn't include computers and strange toys we most likely don't know, or wish to know, about?"

"_Maybe_."

"Mello."

"Yeah, yeah… fine. We'll go through with it. But if L tries to kick the shit out of me, I'm telling him that you two pushed me into it!" Ignoring the looks Near and Matt threw at him out of the corner of his eye, the pretty blonde wearing kick-ass leather (_or gay-ass if you asked Matt_) rubbed at his chin in a pensive manner.

The look shared between Matt and Near only got that much more intense.

"We'll need to recruit one more person though, or else this is never going to work…"

"And that would _be_…?"

"Who _else_ holds any power whatsoever over our dearest L, _other_ than our mystery sexy-man?" Grinning insanely (_though with the blonde pre-teen, there was no other smile he seemed to really __**use**_) to himself, Mello grabbed his two cohorts by the scruffs of their shirts and pulled them forward. "And his name is-"

* * *

"WATARI!"

Nearly dropping the stacks of files he held with one hand and catching the platter filled with different assortments of cakes with his other, the old man whirled around in a fit of astonishment. Watching the three children wave at him simultaneously with innocent (_devilish_) looks on their faces, Watari felt his guard raise automatically, already knowing that no good could come with these children… well, being _themselves._

"Oh dear God, you almost gave me a heart-attack!" Pushing aside the documents still balanced against his palm on the desk beside him, Watari motioned for them to sit down on the large couch that L had been preoccupying just a half-hour before, the forlorn detective already gone to feed his _addiction_ for a certain auburn-haired stud-muffin made from the finest and sexiest ingredients known to man…

Though that's what _L _liked to call him when he thought no one was around, so what did _he _know?

"Why didn't the three of you accompanying L to his usual spot today?"

"Wellllll…" Mello began, the trickle of sweat pouring down from the back of Watari's neck turning into a full-blown waterfall of bodily fluid.

Whenever Mello started out first, there was _always_ trouble to be had.

It didn't make the other two any less scrupulous.

Just…

_Less dangerous_.

"I have a little _proposition_ for you, Mr. Whammy…"

"If it is either illegal or distasteful, you will just have to do it behind my back as you usually do, Mello. Asking me is just wasting both of our time; you in proceeding with the act, and me in disciplining you along with Roger." Watari ground out, not taking in the wide-eyed puppy-dog-stares the child seemed so eager in displaying for no other reason than he was bored.

God knows they both knew it didn't work on him whatsoever.

"Gah, it's about L and his dreamy love-boat made of sweet-sweet flavored awesomeness!"

"… … Please do not call the poor boy that."

"But L does!"

"… … To be quite frank, I do not think that should make its use any better." Watari deadpanned once again. "Now what is it you wish to say about L and Yagami-kun? I do not want to be roped into any idiotic plans that will only damage L's potential in making himself happy-"

"This is nothing like that! Believe it or not, we want L to be happy too!"

"… … We do?"

"YES. YES, WE DO."

"Watari, if you'll just listen to what we have to say, we will cease to bother you if you feel that our plan is too risqué or incredibly inept." Being the least likely to seem like an idiot out of the three (_even if he was the least charismatic_), Near waved his G.I. Joe up in the air in an imitation of childish defenselessness. Watari rolled his eyes as he sat down on the couch opposite to the boys and laid the platter of confectionaries on his lap, feeling the residual poundings of an impending migraine slash across his temporal lobe.

"Well? I do not have all day. Unlike the three of you, I do have things that need attending to _other_ than prying into L's love life… or lack thereof."

Mello crossed his legs as he sat back against the warm leather-bound cushions of the loveseat holding all three children, smirking brilliantly with triumph.

"Do you really have to be so prissy about this?"

"SHUT UP, MATT!"

Sighing to himself, Near moved off of the loveseat and plopped himself on the couch beside Watari, not even saying a word.

It was, apparently, going to be a long night.

* * *

"We shouldn't be doing this, we shouldn't be doing this, we shouldn't be doing this-"

"Where's L at?"

"Where do you think?"

"We shouldn't be doing this… oh what the hell. Let's just do this."

"Good to see you finally fully join the dark side of the force, Anakin. Now sit your ass down and keep your mouth shut."

"_Hmph_."

"Jeez, he wasn't kidding about going everyday, huh?"

"I'm afraid L was being _very_ serious. If we do not finish this today, there is always tomorrow…"

"So... if he's not here, why are we still whispering?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Shut up, Near."

"Eh. You hear that Mello? Chill the frick out... there's _always_ tomorrow, tomorrow-"

"Sing the song, and I'll gut your throat like a fish about to cooked for dinner on a family camping trip, Matt."

"Oh, you're so very tense, Mello dear. Would you like a back rub with a nice glass of wine?"

"…"

"Mello looks very red."

"…"

"Mello now looks very angry."

"…"

"Mello's face is now turning purplish-blue and becoming frighteningly distorted."

"…"

"I think we should _probably _stop pestering him by now, Near dear. That's his, '_I'm about to fuck you up_' face."

"He has a specific face for that?!"

"_Matt_, we only have about an hour to finish this, so if you would _please _shut the hell up AND GET TO HACKING, maybe I wouldn't seem so damn STRESSED!"

"… … No need to yell at me. I'm sensitive."

"MATT!"

"Mello, please be quiet. Matt, stop provoking Mello. Near, at least assist them if you're going to actually _be _here and instigate arguments."

"… … But _why_?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

_**Sigh.**_

"_Fine_."

Watching the three boys now work on their designated tasks in pure silence, Watari looked at his watch in silent fear.

'If this doesn't work, L is going to _kill_ me for this.'

* * *

"Watari?"

"Yes, L?"

"… … This is not the way to the café."

"No."

"… … And the clock on your dashboard is two hours earlier than all of the clocks within our hotel room and computers."

"Yes."

"… … Where are you taking me?"

"A place."

"Which is?"

"Somewhere."

"That is…?"

"In a place."

"You are not going to give me any answers, are you?"

"No. No, I'm not."

Staring out the window with a pout settled over his pallid lips, L slouched even further within his plush leather seat. "Will you at least tell me _why_ we are going wherever it is we are going?"

"For your own good, of course."

"… … … I am still not following."

Watari sweat-dropped as L scratched the tip of his nose, eyes crossing in a moment of boredom until they became fixated on the large ruby-red stain hanging off of his wrinkled once-white shirt sleeve.

Everyone, the world's three greatest detectives.

And that's what Watari thought at the dead of night, when the migraines were just a _bit_ too much.

"L, we're almost there if it makes you feel better."

"Almost _wher_-"

L felt his heart stop as they entered a large familiar campus, groups of people ranging from teenagers to adults milling about the spacious grounds and buildings.

"Watari, _no_."

"L-"

"_No_."

"I will stop here anyway, no matter what you tell me."

"I don't have to get out, though."

"Yes. Yes you will."

"And _why is that_?"

"Because you have three potential successors already waiting by the curb, ready to get you out of the Rolls Royce by any means necessary?"

"..."

"..."

"Why would you do this to me, Watari?"

"Why not?"

"_Damn_."

L had just been ousted by his own man-servant/envoy.

'_Not. Cool_.'

Watari stopped the car in a sudden halt while L was still in his own world of magic and butterflies (_who knew what L thought about when he got __**that**__ particular look on his face_), wincing as the door was unexpectedly pried open in a snap. Three sets of small hands grabbed at random points of L's slightly stained shirt and heaved him out of the Rolls Royce with strength pre-teens should _not_ have at their age.

"Hi, _Ryuuga_!" Matt smirked as he pulled out another of L's common aliases from out of his ass and slapped his (_technical_) boss on his side. "Aren't you ready for some fun and excitement up in this biatch?!"

L gave the three boys his classic blank stare as the shit-eating grins on each one of their faces only grew all the more.

"Whose idea was this?"

Three sets of eyes glistened with virtue and syrupy goodness.

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Who?"

"We don't know what you're talking about." Three different tones and pitches of voices escaladed into L's ears as he shuffled uneasily in front of the university's campus grounds. Looking around with distaste dripping off of his every pore, L barely felt the brush of three small sets of hands pulling at his sleeves, rushing him forward in an awkward slump.

"Why are you so scared, L?"

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

"You should face this head on!"

"We'll cheer you on with pom-poms and skirts!"

"… … Or just Mello will. We haven't quite decided yet."

"OI!"

"And besides..."

"OH MY GOD, HE'S HEEERRRREEEE!"

L almost jumped back in shock as a rabid scantily-clad blonde lolita with pigtails hanging down her head ran past the small group of misfits now staring at her in shock, almost not noticing as another woman with short dark hair dressed in a rather conservative pull-over sweater and torn jeans chased after her with a large manic smile cutting across her pretty face.

"Isn't he... so dreamy?" The blonde whispered to the raven-haired woman, staring off, apparently, into the distance.

"Yeah..."

Piquing L's interest in ways that could not be comprehended (_usually when you saw two crazy woman bum-rushing their way to you, you usually ran the other way instead of walking towards them slowly..._), he warily glanced over their shoulder so that he could see just _who_ they were talking about-

And almost went into full cardiac arrest.

"Oh... _crab-cakes._" L muttered as his light-haired Adonis sat underneath a large shaded tree a bit away from everyone, not noticing (_or not caring_) the amount of attention he seemed to garner in just... _sitting there_.

The woes of the beautiful people, _indeed_.

"Oh, isn't Raito so dreamy?"

"Yeah." A masculine voice propped up beside him startled L even more than the stampede of crazy fangirls had just moments before, a tall man with thin-framed glasses and a shag of dark brown hair sighing rather effeminately gazed longingly at Raito's lithe ingenuous form. "He's sexy-delicious."

"Or deliciously-sexy!"

"We should make a slogan out of that..."

Ignoring the chorus of heartfelt sighs, L pulled back from the scene in front of him, dark eyes narrowing as the three children he had been pushed into this situation with finally found him once again.

"Ryuuga, what are you doing?!"

"_Talk to him, you idiot..._" Mello whispered as Matt continued to make an overdramatic spectacle of himself, taking in the little fan-group which surrounded them. "_Now's your chance_!"

"I..."

"_Are you really going to hide from what you want forever_?" Near then asked, light hair reflecting the sun's rays rather brilliantly against the blue-cobble stones and bright green grass beneath their feet.

'_The real question is whether I am running from something that doesn't even exist at all_.'

And that was one question that L didn't think he wanted answered.

"He's stunning." L whispered, ignoring the three banshees still squealing about in joy as Matt continued to mock them rather obnoxiously. "Gorgeous. Perfect. Everything I could want and more."

'_Yet it's not really likewise, is it?'_

Not waiting to see if his three predecessors were following him, L spun about face and walked away from the comforting sight before him.

"He's… not the one for me."

Walking away in a huff, the detective shoved his hands within his jean pockets and ignored the three boys running after him, all of them asking a million questions at a mile a minute. Yet as he concentrated on his own misery and let his feet lead him away from his dream-come-to-life, L missed a pair of cinnamon-brown eyes aiming right at his back as he faded away into the horizon burning into the ground.

* * *

Rushing forward in a fit of speed even the college student himself seemed impressed by, Raito almost called out the name he had been waiting to speak for nearly _six months_, but instead saved himself the embarrassment (_He was Yagami Raito, after all. Reputation was __**key**_) and turned to question the three nut-bags that were now alone and _still_ fawning over him.

"Hey, did you guys just see-"

"RAITO-SAMA!"

"OH MY GOD, HE'S TALKING TO US!"

"TOUCH HIS HAND, TOUCH HIS HAND, TOUCH HIS HAND-"

"**I JUST TOUCHED HIS HAND**!"

"_**NEVER WASH IT EVER AGAIN, OK**_?!"

"YAY!"

Sweat-dropping as Kiyomi, Teru and Misa began to giggle insanely to themselves, Raito turned back to where he had just been glancing back, absolutely _sure_ that he had seen a familiar pair of dark eyes and wild head of sable-colored hair that he hadn't see in a good few _months_…

'I suppose I could have just been seeing things…'

Instead of following after the mysterious man's footsteps that had looked so very much like the unmistakably distinct stranger he had met so long ago, Raito simply shook his head and turned around, ready to go back into the library and pick out his newest conquest from the university library-

"RAI-CHAN, COULD I TOUCH YOUR HAND TOO?!"

"**ME FIRST**!"

"NO, BITCH, I SAID ME!"

"WHAT?!"

"_BITE MEEEEEEE_!"

Shaking his head at the rather shameful display of idiocy, Raito continued onward as he grabbed his books and book-bag from the spot he had just been located and walked away in the other direction, once again daydreaming of the pale color of the moon and the dark abyss that covered the stars…

Oh, how he couldn't forget that inimitable face.

* * *


	8. Act VI: The End of the Line

A.N: Hari-chan is very tired right now, so her rambling shall be cut short today. She is hopeful that all of you shall like this chapter, and gives many thanks to Kitsune-55 for both beta-ing this chapter and for her always awesome suggestions. Once again, enjoy the chapter, and please be mindful of the epilogue to soon follow!

Peace out, peeps.

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." _

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: _**Shoot for the Moon**_

_Act VI:_ _**The End of the Line**_

* * *

"I think this is it, you guys." Matt sputtered as he stretched back against the carpeted floor he was laying out against, Mello's own head of hair mixing in with his in an eclectic mix of sunshine yellow and ruby-red. "We are officially _done._"

"Oh, come on…" Mello whined sprawled out beside him, turning his head to the side so that he could look at his friend at a better angle. "This can't be the end of the road for us. Say it isn't _so_."

"Dude, did you see the look on L's face when he saw Dr. McDreamy-as-all-Hell?" Doing a little jiggle with his hands in front of his face, Matt absently hit his goggles so that they lay askew over his forest-green eyes. "He looked about ready to damn cry!"

Mello stared at the striped-shirt boy with his faux-fur vest hanging off his shoulders, dark blue eyes wide as can be.

"… … L can _cry_?"

Near took this moment to turn towards Mello, eyes as vacant as ever.

"Mello, you are now officially banned from talking. _Ever_."

"I think that constitutes as the burn of all burns. And he just flamed you _good_, pansy-pants."

"Don't make hurt you, Matt."

"Oh, how many times do you promise me this and _never come through_!"

"MASOCHISTIC ASSHOLE!"

"AND YOU LIKE THAT, _DON'T YOU_!"

"… … I plead the fifth."

"DUDE!"

"AHEM… Whilst the two of you have been moping over there on the floor, being of no use whatsoever…" Near muttered from his spot on the couch, a large manila covering the entirety of his white-clothed lap, empty-eyed and bored as always. "I have been researching more on our subject."

"You are taking this entirely too seriously, young grasshopper."

"Someone has too. The both of you might as well be stoned out of your minds and eating stale Cheetos for all of the help you're giving me."

"… … Do you think L and Watari would mind if we blazed some shit up?" Matt muttered underneath his breath, goggles shining brightly under the fluorescent yellow lights.

"Yeah-yeah!" Came the inevitable cheer, making Near's eye twitch repeatedly.

"Oh my God, the both of you are so retarded on so many levels."

"We're just kidding, little albino man! We're not about to start toking with you right in the _room_!" Matt laughed as threw his arms back, goggles sliding slightly down his face. "Can't take a joke at all?"

"… … Yeah." Stuffing something back into the leather interior of his pant pocket, Mello laughed awkwardly as both boys beside him took turns in rolling their eyes. "Joke. Totally. Right… joke. I can believe that crap. We're… totally joking about rolling any fatties in this vicinity… today. As of now. I'm fine."

"…"

"…"

"So what did you find out, you cheeky albino, you?!"

"Did you guys know that little Yagami Raito's dad is in the NPA?"

"… … Wait, _what_?!"

"Isn't L _working_ with the NPA?"

"Working… working on _what_?"

"… … Into his coworker's son's pants, it seems."

"Sexy-Times-Joke-Five!"

"WOOSH!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Are you two thinking what _I'm _thinking?"

"… That the new Transformers movie already looks awesome?"

"… That trying to sleep with your eyes open only makes your eyes hurt?"

"NO, YOU MORONS!" Shocking the blonde and the redhead into upright positions, Near almost dropped the file onto the ground and pulled at his silvery-white hair in frustration. "If we were able to, say, hint at Yagami Soichirou to somehow bring his son into this investigation-"

"We're working on an actual investigation?!"

"Yeah, a way for L to investigate his way into Raito Yagami's bedroom!"

"Double-Sexy-Times-Joke-Five!"

"DOUBLE WOOSH!"

"_**Then**_," Near continued, ignoring the two imbeciles making his life a semi-living hell. "L would be FORCED to interact with him if we were somehow able to get him to meet the officers whilst Yagami Raito was there! It's GEN-_IUS_!"

Matt and Mello stopped laughing almost immediately, both with eyes wide open and mouths agape.

"… Have you been eating Sweet-Tarts and Pixie-Sticks again, Near?" Matt muttered underneath his breath, quite sure that he and Mello weren't the only ones out of their minds.

"… … _Maybe_."

"Damn it…"

"Listen, this doesn't sound like such a bad idea. With some serious tweeking and a bit of revamping on our part, then we might be able to fix this up so that L and this Raito guy meet up again!" Mello punched his friend over the shoulder and sat up, leaning forward towards the seat Near was still perched in as he absently flipped through the open-leaf pages. "Where are they now?"

"Who?"

"The investigation team! We pinpoint their location, get Watari to send them a message and somehow convince L to visit their spot with his little piece of heavenly man-meat conveniently popping in while he's there! L'll be so surprised to see him that he'll have little to no other alternative but to face him head on!" Mello bounced about, his cerulean-colored eyes wide and large. "Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, _homes_."

"… Are you serious?" Near looked just as excited as Mello for once, somehow managing to creep the boys out more than when he just held his emotionless façade up front.

"Oh my God, L is going to fucking massacre us for this shit." Matt mumbled, his goggles now spread over his nose (_how, he didn't even know_) as his jade-green eyes closed in deep resignation.

"This will be done!" Mello shouted, pointing a finger up in the air as the others basked in various degrees of astonishment and dumb-down derision. "As God (_or whatever we can use to substitute that out of the sentence_) as my witness, we shall get L laid this time! And I mean NOW!"

"Right… now…?"

"NO, YOU MORON! I mean… like… in the recent future, dumbass."

"And how will it be done, _sir?_"

"Matt…"

"Yeah?"

"Firstly… You. Me. And your mad hacking skills. In the living room. With the computer. _Let's do this_, _boiiiiiii_…"

"Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?" Near fidgeted with his pale yellow folder as Mello and Matt jumped up from their spots on the ground, the look of doom, destruction and general mayhem poured over from their mischievous eyes.

"ITS ALL ABOUT THE FUN TIMES NOW, PLAYA-_PLAYA_!"

"YEAH-YEAH!"

* * *

"This is completely unnecessary, Watari!"

"You haven't even been working on this investigation, L! There's a serial killer that no one has caught, and whom you aren't even _looking_ for, that's still on the _loose_!" Waving his hands around in frustration, Watari kept his gaze directly over L's shoulder as three demonic children gave him a thumbs-up from behind the couch. "Doing this may boost your motivation for the case, and-"

"You want me to reveal myself to a group of people whom I don't even _need _to know because of one _small_ distraction?!" L gave the graying man a long hard stare, almost flinching as it was returned back in epic proportions.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Be quiet, Watari."

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't need to."

Sitting down next to the boy whom he had raised since he was about 11-years-old, Watari sat a hand on top of L' s head, something he used to do when the boy was younger and was confused as to what to do next. "If that is the case, then don't you think that maybe, just maybe, this _suggestion_ might help you instead of hinder you. They don't even need to know who you really are!"

"… This is true." For a moment, the broody investigator seemed to contemplate the choice in front of him, knowing that this case was going to drag on for _so long_.

'Honestly, this case is so boring and easy, I could've solved it the moment after I met Raito…'

Though he did not want to admit it, he had been inspired to work once he had met the boy, filled with aspiration and anticipation on the road ahead…

Something had just felt _wrong_, though.

Even if L had wanted to get back to work (_and secretly, who would want to, considering you had the sexiness that was Yagami Raito in one hand and some creepy-ass serial killer with possibly no sexiness whatsoever in the other_), he had just _not wanted to_.

"You could be another envoy that L has sent in just to check up on things as he takes care of another case that has caught his immediate attention… _Right_?"

Sighing to himself, L silently grumbled at the old man as he (_once again_) made some awesome point-age.

"I hate it when you make a good point, Watari. In fact, I just hate you in general."

"I love you too, L. _So very much!_"

"That… was semi-disturbing."

"Wasn't it?"

"Will you take care of it, then?"

"Is that a yes?"

"…"

"Should I not push my luck?"

"… Yes."

"By tomorrow, a notice will be sent out and you'll be ready to work again!"

"Woo… hoo."

"I can sense your excitement!"

"Can't you? In waves?"

"_Palpable_ waves!"

"Please do not tell the other children about this, Watari. I fear they may ask questions about _who_ exactly we're working with, and another hair-brained scheme will come into play-"

"Of course, sir."

Watari almost grinned as three sets of identical maniacal grins sparkled with devious malevolence, eyes glistening with amusement of what exactly laid ahead for their dearest, most favorite detective _ever_.

'L, you just gotten one-upped by your own successors… and you don't even know it yet. I must remember to take pictures, later on…'

* * *

"Hi, Ryuuzaki-san!"

A perky man with dark shaggy hair and a rather obnoxiously cheery smile jumped up from behind L as he entered the investigation room, eyes searching for only one person in particular by the name of Yagami Soichirou…

"Uh… Hello?" Thrown off by the manically waving individual who was attempting to pass himself off as a detective, L mentally rolled his eyes.

'I knew I should have done research on the _other _people within the investigation than just concentrate on Yagami-san…'

"And… you are…?"

The detective in front of him face-faulted (_for lack of better wording_), tripping onto the floor in a moment of (_L hoped it was only a moment, otherwise his investigation was pretty much __**screwed**_) stupidity.

"I… guess L didn't brief you on any of us before you came onto the case! That's... kind of weird, but he does have unusual methods, so, whatever! I'm Matsuda Touta, one of the guys you'll be working with!" Pointing at himself as he grinned, L secretly suppressed the urge to gag. "That's Aizawa Shuichi-"

A tall man picking at his equally tall afro nodded over at him, stubble scrubbed across his face in an act of rebellion as a picture of a woman and a child stood in front of the desk he was sitting beside kind of ruined his bad-ass act.

"Hi."

Though, L had to respect the man's right to bear that awesomely humongous afro.

It was intimidation reborn.

"That's Mogi Kanzo–"

A silent man with a near buzz-cut looked up from his paper work barely a second, noiselessly nodding over at the detective, before going right back to work.

L could respect the silent type.

They gave him less headaches than the ones who talked all the time, anyway.

"And that's Ide Hideki-"

The man absently waved at L over his shoulder before rushing onto his next project, dark eyes concentrating on the stacks of papers half-hazardously perched over his hands and arms.

The diligent type.

That was… nice.

Though L had to wonder if he knew that he was holding one of the papers he was reading upside-down.

"… Yeah."

"Oh, and that's our lead investigator, Yagami Soichirou!"

A man with dark graying hair stood up as he fixed his glasses, giving the younger man a small smile as he stretched out his hands.

"It's very nice to meet you, Ryuuzaki-san. I do hope you enjoy your short stay with us here while we search for more information on our potential suspects. Would you like to sit down?"

'Finally… the only picture of semi-normality in this place! And he's the father of my future husband! DOUBLE SCORE!'

"Yes, thank you…"

"SO WHAT'S IT LIKE WORKING FOR L, RYUUZAKI-SAN?!" Matsuda yelled in L's ear as he sat down, nearly deafening himself in the process.

"I suppose it's fine…"

"IS HE WEIRD?"

"Well-"

"DOES HE CREEP YOU OUT?!"

"Huh-"

"HOW FAST DOES HIS BRAIN GO?!"

"Wha-"

"IS HE SECRETLY MADE OF MAGICAL PEAS AND PLATINUM AND THINKS OF NOTHING BUT ESCAPE SCHEMES AND PAUL NEWMAN QUOTES?!"

"Are you retarded?" L asked, not caring if he sounded politically incorrect at this point. "I mean, really, _really _retarded?"

"… … I don't think so." Matsuda actually pondered the question for a moment.

"But you know, I do kind of wonder…" Soichirou whispered to himself, making L giggle in glee on the inside. "I know you're probably not allowed to disclose such information, but I just have to ask… is L as big a genius as everyone says he is?"

"Haven't you already spoken to him?"

"Speaking to him over a laptop as he hands out rather broad orders and actually meeting and working with him in an intimate setting are two different things." Soichirou clarified, bringing up L's respect for him even further.

"Do you all ever wonder what L might be like?" Ide interrupted the conversation in the making as Matsuda saddled up beside the rumpled detective, dark eyes wide with anticipation.

"I've always liked to think of L as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit as he does an interpretive dance of my life." Mogi quietly stated, eyes dazed as he wandered off into another apparent daydream.

'… What. The. _Hell_.' If these were his investigators… L could officially call off his own case and just let the murderer run rampant as he was still doing now.

"I've always liked to think of L with, like, giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like a detective-band playing instruments behind him… and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk, just for the hell of it!" Matsuda called out, hanging off L's other arm, not noticing the completely disturbed look on his boss' (_though he didn't know it_) face.

"I've always liked to picture L in a tuxedo tee-shirt, just because it says 'I want to be formal… but I'm here to party.'" Aizawa stated, absently picking through his gigantic afro.

"What is _wrong_ with you people?" L shouted as he plucked Matsuda off his person and glared at Aizawa from the corner of his eye. Soichirou sweat-dropped as he gave a rather indifferent shrug in the hunchbacked detective's direction, not sure what he could say that would comfort or please him. "And I thought _I _was the one with the problems!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"L _really_ didn't brief you _at all_, did he?" Soichirou just about laughed as he continued to work, shaking his head in amusement.

"If you are the people working for him, I think he would be better working by himself!"

* * *

"Uh-oh…" Near muttered underneath his breath, feeling his heart stop violently within his chest.

"Ok, abort Plan! Abort Plan!" Mello shouted/whispered from within their closet.

"… … Dude, seriously. Aborting anything is just wrong."

"MATT, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS! WE HAVE A PLAN TO-"

"_CRAP_!"

"DON'T PUT YOUR FOOT THERE, MATT-"

_**CRASH!**_

The group of detectives stared at the three young boys now out of the closet, sprawled out against the floor rather painfully.

Ironically, Matsuda was the first one to speak.

"… … … Why are there kids in here?"

"SEE WHAT YOU DID, DIPSHIT?!"

"I think I want to go home now." Near blushed as L glared over at him, never having been more scared in his life.

"Then go along, Lassie! GET!"

"Mello is being unreasonably aggressive! Stop, or I shall bring out my rape-whistle!"

"They actually sell those?"

"In several different colors, actually…"

"Boys, please…" L muttered,

"Alright, let's ask this question again; why the hell are there kids in here?!"

"Can we now secretly profile L as a pedophile along with irresponsible since he's now hiding kids in our investigation room along with sending us new guys we know nothing about?!" Mogi whispered loudly over at Aizawa who shrugged.

"I don't_ think _he's a pedophile… but I certainly think he might be promoting it, anyway…"

"Uh… _interesting_."

"OH NOES!"

"L IS NOT A PEDOPHILE OR IRRESPONSIBLE, YOU BUNCH OF FRUITY-LOOKING HOBOS! RIGHT, L?!"

Everyone in the room stared over at L/Ryuuzaki in varied states of shock and entitlement.

'Mello, you _idiot._'

"He… had a strange slip of the tongue?"

Everyone (_minus the children_) continued to stare over at L with wide eyes.

"… … L's a secret _bum_?"

"_Damn_."

"Talk about strange bed-fellows."

"THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD ABOUT FUCKING ENOUGH!" Mello grabbed both Near's and Matt's arms as his face tured cherry-red, secretly wondering how long it would be before L annihilated them all. "MATT, PACK UP YOUR SHIT! WE ARE HEADIN' OUT, HOMIES!"

"Right-o, Mells!"

"See you all later!"

Watching his three successors running out of the investigation room with both great amusement and dangerous panic in his eyes, L sighed to himself as he felt every person's gaze follow his every twitch and movement. Depressed, he slumped out of the room before muttering something himself that most of the detective's couldn't really hear.

"I think… I need to go now."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… Can we forget that ever happened?" Ide muttered, not even believing what had just played out before him in a small span of a half an hour.

"I think we're going to have to." Aizawa snapped out, still playing with his hairstyle.

"My poor, poor brain…"

Obviously, there was no need to specify just who said _that._

Soichirou sighed as he dropped back into his chair and held his head between his hands.

'I officially hate my life.'

* * *

"That is it; the three of you are _done_."

The three boys stayed silent as L slumped into the leather interior of the car, eyes narrowed dangerously in anger.

"… So… back to… England?"

"I should send you to the farthest reaches of the _Earth_ for what you've just done. Now, I must go through severe steps precautions to make sure that _none _of those men either don't say anything or won't compromise my credibility. On top of all that, the amount of embarrassment and humiliation I've had to suffer only adds onto everything you have done so far." Watari gave the boys a sympathetic glance as they hung their heads in shame. "I, quite frankly, am appalled by your latest behavior, and can take it no longer. I am not even sure if the three of you are even the slightest bit concerned about your statuses as my heirs, let alone any of the priorities the position of L would demand of you once one of you is chosen-"

"But L-"

"That's not fair!"

"… … This is bullshit."

"Enough." Ignoring Watari's patronizing sideway glance in the front driver's seat, L sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "I will speak with you all individually at a later time. I am quite sure that my mind is not in a stable enough condition to make any sort of decision at this moment in time. Watari shall drop you off at the airport after I get to the hotel and your things shall be sent to you."

"L…"

"We didn't do this to be mean…"

"We only wanted to make you happy!"

"Well, you didn't." L muttered as the car finally revved up and pulled out of the curb, not noticing a familiar head of auburn hair and lithe frame walk into the police offices through the tinted windows, book-bag hanging off of his slim shoulder. "If anything, you've made it quite, _quite_ worse."

Huddling up next to each other, the three boys said nothing else for the rest of the ride, flinching as L did not even stop to say goodbye as he shoved himself out of the car and back into his hotel.

"Do you think he'll ever forgive us, Watari?" Mello quietly asked, eyes glistening with unshed tears of shame.

Watari gave the boys a small smile through the rear-view mirror, wondering when L would stop and just _grow up_ already.

"Just give him some time, boys. When you are by yourself for so long, even the smallest bits of human contact seem more like a burden when you have it… when he is alone again, he will figure out just what it is he's lost." Watari watched as the boys began to slowly perk up, eyes regaining some of their lost spark. "I think the lesson you should take from this is that L still has as much to learn as the three of you do."

"I guess…" Near murmured apologetically, stuffed between the temperamental blonde and the moody redhead.

"You'll see. Everything will be just fine."

And as Watari continued on driving, the smile on his face grew from one of sympathy to one of knowing.

"_Trust me_."

* * *

"You missed it, Yagami-kun!" Matsuda nearly jumped on the poor teenager as he walked in and dropped his book-bag beside the chair his father was sitting, neatly folding his legs over each other as he gracefully flopped down beside him. "L WAS HERE!"

"Really?!" Almost immediately falling off of his chair, the 19-year-old college student stared at the various detectives nodding their heads before moving his gaze onto his father, milk-chocolate brown eyes filling with anticipation. "Are you guys serious?!"

"I believe so, yes… though after all of the raucous caused, we can't all be too sure…"

"What was he like dad?" Raito excitedly romped, bright stars shining behind him as the other men (_minus Matsuda_) began to slowly back away from the overly-animated teen with sparkles rising over his head.

Raito almost sweat-dropped as his father's face darkened almost immediately.

"… _Hm_."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Uh…"

"Should I just… not even ask?"

"Raito, he was…"

"There are no words that could describe his bucket of crazy." Aizawa muttered, high-fiving Ide as he chuckled simultaneously.

"He's a genius. He's allowed to be… eccentric?" Raito finished as a question, giving his father a small peek from the corner of his eye.

Raito then proceeded to ignore the rather obscene sweat-drop and sighed to himself in frustration.

"And the alias he tried to go by…"

"Yeah. _Ryuuzaki_? Give me a break. With a lame name."

_**CRASH!**_

"RAITO!" Matsuda melodramatically dropped himself over to where Raito now lay, staring down at the wide-eyed college student with caution. "Are you alright, Yagami-kun?!"

"You said… _no way_." The dazed look on Raito's face confused the older man as he waved his hand in front of the teen's dumbfounded face. "It… _can't be_."

"Raito?"

"What did he look like?!"

"Uh… dark hair… slouchy… crappy white shirt with some huge-ass pair of jeans-" Aizawa tapped his afro in concentration before a terrifying screech made him jump up in shock.

"I GOTTA GO NOW!" The way-too-pretty-for-his-own-good brunette threw himself up off of the floor and grabbed his bag, golden-brown eyes darkening into a deep maple-brown. "THANKS AIZAWA!"

"…"

"…"

"… Uh…"

"I… guess… you should say you're welcome?"

"Oh, well, because _Matsuda _said so-" Aizawa slammed the pick onto the desk in frustration and agitation as Raito rushed his way out of the room, his mind full of memories and half-hearted doubts. "_You're welcome_."

* * *


	9. Epilogue: Beyond the Stars

A.N: I have to say, you guys are so awesome! I didn't think this story would get such a great response, but I guess I don't know what I'm talking about. Lol. Many thanks to all you guys for the support, and I hope you enjoy the epilogue of our... epic (Epic? Really? Erm... I plead the fifth. o.O;) adventure.

Many thanks to Kitsune-55 for beta-ing, along with all of her awesome suggestions as well! Gold star for you!

Side Note: Ha ha, not done rambling, but let me just get this out of the way while I have the chance. A lot of people have asked about the references I've used in this fic. I _could_ tell you all of them... but that wouldn't be any fun (for _me_). Lol. If you really want to know (Like, it's life or death... or whatever.) I guess I'll let you know. For now, just stew in the ambiguity of it all.

Disclaimer: Oh, yay... a disclaimer for the whole story. I don't own Death Note. There. Now leave me the hell alone. I have cookies to go splurge on. (Yay!)

* * *

"_Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars." _

_-Les Brown_

* * *

Title: _**Shoot for the Moon**_

_Epilogue:** Beyond the Stars**_

* * *

Raito felt the air in his lungs dwindle into nothing as he ran out of the police station, gasping for each breath as if it was his last. Head whipping in all directions, mocha-brown eyes narrowed in frustration as Raito realized that he had missed Ryuuzaki (_excuse him, **L**_) once again_. _

Book-bag straps falling down his shoulders, the tired brunette nearly kicked the stonewall surrounding the station for decoration and turned about-face, too angry with himself to even go back inside to see his father.

'This is just too much…'

* * *

_**Three Days Later…**_

* * *

"Come on, L…"

"…"

"L… it's going to be alright."

"…"

"Are you honestly going to just stay inside your room ALL DAY AND NIGHT?!"

"…"

"This is ridiculous. You're being completely immature and unprofessional. The longer you mope, the less these things stay unresolved and become much more complicated!"

"…"

_**Sigh**_.

"It's almost three o'clock, L…"

_**Squuuuuueeeeaaaakkkk…**_

"Really?"

"Do you realize how sad it is that you're willing to get out of your room for a boy who doesn't even know you but you won't even try to fix your reputation so that you can continue your _job_?"

"… … _Maybe_."

Staring at the wily detective as he moved past the door and shoved his bare feet into his untied-sneakers, Watari sighed as he crossed his arms and marched past the pouting man-child.

'There's only one last thing left to do…'

"L, I'll meet you in the car. I have to go make sure the kids made it back alright."

"Two days after the fact?"

"I was taking care of _you_ the whole time, remember?"

"… … _Fine_."

Watching the dark-haired depressed man walk out of the hotel room with an even bigger hunchback than usual, Watari slowly snuck his cell phone out from his slack-pocket and moved into the bathroom, quickly selecting the number he had been given just a day before.

Listening to the phone ring emptily within his ear, Watari secretly prayed this would not blow up in his face.

"_Hello?_"

"Is this Yagami Raito?"

"… … _Yes_…_ Who is this_?"

"I'm not all that important, but I'm pretty sure you know whom I might work for if your father has spoken to you like he's told me he has."

"_I see._"

"I must be quick, but please listen to what I have to say."

"_Alright…_"

* * *

"Don't say it." L muttered as Watari sat across from him, the plaza now alive with pedestrians and the occasional performer. "I know what you are going to say to me, and you know that I will not listen."

"…"

"…"

"… … I-"

"Ah, ah, ah…" Holding up a finger, L glared at his old friend, looking around him, and not seeing the familiar head of auburn hair sitting at his usual table. "I said it wasn't necessary."

"Fine, L. But…" Watari smiled to himself as he began to get up, looking over L's hunched form and moving to get back into their vehicle that lay on the other side of the street. "I would just like to say one thing, if nothing else."

"And that is?"

"Good luck." Watari ended mysteriously, waving over his shoulder as he winked. For a moment, L was quite sure that the old man had lost his mind.

"Ryuuzaki?"

But then, that familiar tenor filled his ears, and L couldn't gather the will to actually care.

Turning his head back, honey brown eyes widened with recognition as they sparkled with glee (Glee? _Really? _Was that even possible when concerning himself?!), rushing toward the sitting detective with a speed that even took _L _off-guard.

"Oh my Gosh! I haven't seen you in a good couple of months!"

"Uh…"

'_Stop it, say something you idiot! He's standing right there and he REMEMBERS you-OH MY GOD, HE'S COMING CLOSER AND PRACTICALLY SITTING NEXT TO YOU __**SAY-SOMETHING-BEFORE-HE-FIGURES-OUT-THAT-YOUR-SO-ANTI-SOCIAL-AND-WEIRD-IT-HURTS!**_'

"Ye-es… I suppose it has been quite awhile. I'm surprised that Yagami-san remembers me, if truth be told."

"Well, you're pretty unforgettable." The boy replied with a blush settled over his cheeks, fiddling with the book within his hands rather uncomfortably.

"Yes, but not in the same way that Yagami-san is." L stated almost sadly, his eyes not reflecting the misery he had begun to feel the very day he had laid eyes on the gorgeous brunette and his world had virtually turned upside down. "I am, rather, the person you _wish_ to forget, but can't, while Yagami-san is the person everyone can never forget, and are glad not to be able to."

"Well, I get why you didn't want to see me if you feel that way."

"What?"

"Not a lot of time… right, _L_?"

"Well, that is tru-WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

Raito blinked as L just about fell out of his chair, looking a bit concerned as he leaned in forward.

"Well, my father, he-and, and your associate, I guess, he called me and we talked a bit… I mean, that's why you didn't come back, right? You were busy with the case, right?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Ryuuzaki…?"

"Are you only speaking to me because I am who I am?" L bluntly asked with a blank look on his face, the monotone within his voice betraying no emotion.

"I won't lie. Partly, I am extremely interested. It's not everyday you meet the world's greatest detective…" Raito blushed at the admittance. "But… I meant it, when I met you the first time. I wanted to see you again. You were different, but special. I couldn't describe it; it was like I met another me. Someone who shows the world one thing, but hides who they really are internally. And I was right… I want to know you."

L almost stammered as the boy pushed his chair next to him and smiled-

"I… uh… ok?"

And proceeded to make a douche of himself in front of the most gorgeous man ever.

"Just don't expect your little reign to last forever." Raito smirked as L's own lips twitched up in amusement. "Being the best isn't as _permanent _as you might think…"

"Oh, really?" The skepticism in L's voice made Raito twitch, chocolate-brown eyes narrowing in anger.

"Don't believe me?"

"Prove me wrong then, Raito." Giving the boy a saucy smile, the giddy (_Giddy. L, the best damn detective in the world was **giddy**!_) raven-haired investigator nearly laughed as the brunette college student pouted at the teasing comment aimed his way. "So… tell me, Raito-kun, is this the part where we connect on a personal level and proceed to live happily ever after?"

"Is there really such a thing?" Raito snarked, wondering just what the detective was expecting from him at this point. "Besides, I wouldn't consider this conclusive, would you?"

"I shall give Raito-kun that one."

"Good."

"… … … Does this meeting end with a…" L stifled a grin at is thought, making Raito squirm in his seat uncomfortably. "happy ending, at least?"

"Happy… end-oh, wait, c'mon!"

"I apologize, Yagami-kun… I just couldn't help myself."

"I can see that."

"_Oh, if only_."

"Ryuuzaki!"

* * *

Watching as the two young men quietly laughed at something L had said just moments before, Watari slowly slid the cell phone up upon his ear with a small bump of his shoulder.

"_And they're talking!_"

"Yes… and perfectly well, in fact."

"_Mission COMPLETE!_"

"Right… now please, do concentrate on _not_ getting thrown out of Whammy's for the rest of the year, and perhaps I can set up another meeting with a far-less angry L, yes?"

"_WATARI, YOU ARE AWESOME! AND I MEAN THAT WITH THE UTMOST SINCERITY AND TRUTH THAT CAN POSSIBLY BE USED TO INJECT ITSELF WITHIN THAT ONE SENTENCE I'VE JUST SPOKEN! YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY THE COOLEST PERSON EVAR!_"

"… Don't push it, Mello."

"_Yes sir! Peace out, old man!_"

Clicking the phone shut with a smile, Watari gave the boys one last lingering glance.

"Well, I _did_ tell you so, L…" Watari sighed as he got in the car, quite sure his charge wouldn't be needing a ride for quite awhile, if the look on both of the boy's faces were any indication. Feeling a swell of accomplishment and satisfaction burst within his chest, Watari mentally gave himself a nice pat on the back.

'_This one was for you L_.'

Yet after this emotion seemed to pass, one horrendous thought snuck within Watari's head, making him depressed all over again.

Who else was going to clean up the horrid mess left in L's and the boy's wakes?

'_Oh, freaking hurray for me._'

* * *

_**Fin.**_


End file.
